Take me back to the start
by Marissalovesbrittana14
Summary: Santana Lopez is a successful record producer living out her dreams in New York City, you think she would be the happiest woman alive? Wrong Santana has been heart broken more times than she can count as she tries to get through her divorce her daughter begs Santana to tell the story about how she met her mom. Loosely based off of Definitely, maybe. FULL SUMMARY INSIDE! PLS READ.
1. Chapter 1

Authors Note: Brittana Fic! Here's the first chapter in this. I don't know how long this will be but I intend it to be a solid 30,000 words! Bare with me its only my second Fic! The first one I'm actually publishing though. Its Loosely based off of the movie _Definitely, Maybe. _So Enjoy the first chapter! It's a short first chapter I know but its just to get things started! Read and review please! I should have the next chapter up by tomorrow thanks!

Summary: Santana Lopez is a successful record producer living out her dreams in New York City, you think she would be the happiest woman alive? Wrong Santana has been heart broken more times than she can count as she tries to get through her divorce her daughter begs Santana to tell the story about how she met her mom. Santana makes a deal with her daughter that she will tell her about 3 special women and she has to put the pieces together herself. As Santana tells the story of her passed loves she slowly comes to a realization. This story tells how no matter how long it takes true love never fades. Santana POV. Italics means past.

Chapter 1- _Mondays _

Present January 2017

"FUCK!" I yell as Tina my assistant drops a heavy document on my desk with the words _Divorce Forms_, my chest aches a little looking at the yellow envelope on my desk I mean it's a divorce? From someone that's supposed to love you no matter what? How could it not make your heart hurt? I pick up the envelope and mutter to myself "I don't have time for this shit Tina" as I drop the folder back on her desk. "Ms. Lopez your wife says-" Tina tries to say but I cut her off there "No Tina she is not my wife and I don't have time for this crap I have to get my daughter from school" I storm back into my office and pick up my bags getting ready to leave. I love Mondays I know it sounds weird but I do mostly because I get to pick up my daughter from school she literally helps me get through my week she's my perfect thing. As I grab my phone from my desk I leave for the door when Tina blocks my way "what Tina! I'm gonna be late" I try but she doesn't move instead she waves the yellow folder waiting for me to take it, tapping her foot on the ground and smirking at me. she waits. "I'm not taking it Tina" she shakes her head and refuses to move truth be told I know she's only doing this for my own good but damn she's so annoying with her 'I'm only trying to help attitude' I huff and give up as 10 minutes go by I snatch the

folder from her hand and she makes a walkway for me as she leans out of the way "damn Tina why do you always do this?" I say as I storm by her. "I'm only trying to help Ms. Lopez" she yells as I run out of my office and out into the city streets, New York has always been beautiful for me especially coming from Lima, Ohio this city is a dream come true I like the fast paced nature its more my style then boring Lima but my wife begs to differ.

Ugh my _wife _just that word stings my ears, don't get me wrong I loved my wife I still do but this whole divorce crap is really irritating me I don't have time for it running a record company isn't all fun and games. I totally agree though that our marriage just wasn't working all we did was fight yeah sure in the beginning it was fun and all lovey dovey but shit happens I guess.

I shake my head of these thoughts as I see my daughters school I run up to the door way to eager and suddenly I'm greeted by a thousand screaming kids I look left to right trying to find my little princess but I can't and instantly I become worried I frown a little wondering why I cant find her but thinking to soon I see her little blonde head peak through the crowd. She runs through the crowd and I crouch down to her level as she embraces me in the best hug ever she smiles and says "Mom! Mom! Guess what we learned about love in class today!" "oh really?" I say in complete interest although the topic of love is kind of touchy for me "what did you learn about love?" I ask as I grab her little hand and walk out of the school. "just that love is special and one of a kind and that there's different kinds of love there's family love than there's love love" she says, my eyebrows furrow as confusion takes over "love love? What's that?" I ask as we walk up to my apartment building "well" she starts "love love is the kinda love you have with someone special like what you _had_ with mommy" I cringe at the word had giving it a past tense love I still loved my wife it just wasn't working. "Anita sweety I still love your mother we just decided it was better this way" I try to explain the best I can to a 9 year old about what divorce is " I know mommy" she says in the smallest voice my heart breaks a little hearing how much pain she's in seeing her parents like this "look" I start "nothing changes alright? We still love you just as much as we did before we split up okay? So stop the pouting and let me see that shining smile" I say while tickling her. "okay mommy okay!" she yells as I pick her up and take her to the apartment, as I open the door I put her down and go straight to the kitchen all of a sudden I hear little feet coming up beside me

"hey mommy?" she whispers as I get some glasses "yea hun?" I say waiting for her reply which doesn't come until after a very long pause which worries me. "Can you tell me the story about you and mommy?" I smile a little confused about what she means "What do you mean? Like how we met?" I ask "yeah! But I don't wanna know just about mommy I wanna know about the other girlfriends before you and mommy got married" still a little baffled by her question I say "I don't know hun I only had 2 serious other girlfriends before me and your mom got married I don't find the point?" her smile falters a bit "mommy please! I wanna know about all three of them! Please!" she cries as she grabs my arm. I think for a while before I answer and I decide on a little game to play with her "okay you want to know? I'll tell you but I'm changing all of their names so your going to have to figure out which one your mom is deal?" her smile grows wide at my little game "OKAY OKAY A GAME YAY!" she yells as she jumps up and down I smile a little still wondering how this came about.

After about 10 minutes of her being excited and jumping up and down I cut in "Anita what made you want to know about this?" I ask she smiles even more and says "Our teacher today told us about how she met her husband and the people she was with before him to 'elaborate' on the meaning of true love and how it always finds a way" I smile at how smart she is "alright go get ready for bed and I'll tell you all about it okay?" I say and she scampers off to get ready I suddenly become a bit nervous telling her about this not because of my wife which is weird maybe this wasn't such a good idea…


	2. Chapter 2

Authors Note: hey guys! So here is chapter 2 its a lot longer so I hope you enjoy! the story about the 3 loves are going start in this one so don't get confused by the changed names their all glee characters but you'll find out in the end who Santana's wife is! I'm actually using there real life names as the switched name so it should be okay to follow but let me know if you get confused I'll help out! Also a big thanks to all those who faved and followed the story means a lot! And to my 1 review your super cool and I can't wait for the story to unfold for you! So here is chapter 2 enjoy! R and R!

Chapter 2- _Damn_

As I slowly approach my daughter's bedroom across the hall I suddenly become very nervous about telling the story "why am I so nervous?" I whisper so Anita can't hear. I pace up and down the hall for a second contemplating if I should just not tell her the story my heels make the click clack noise as I realize I'm still in my work clothes I quickly walk into my room to change into sweats and a v-neck when a knock startles me. "Mommy! Mommy! I'm ready for the story!" Anita cries as I go to open the door my hand stops on the knob "C'mon Lopez get your shit together" I whisper so Anita won't think I'm talking to her that would not be safe for me she is her mothers daughter I can tell you that. I turn the knob and I'm met with a beaming smile wider than anything I have ever seen "Alright mija I'm ready do you want to sit in my bed or yours?" I ask hoping she will just suddenly forget about this "your bed! Its bigger and fluffier!" she cries with excitement. She runs over to my bed and fixes the pillows to her standards which takes a solid 10 minutes I give her the 'are you done yet?' look but she just shrugs it off as she lays herself down in the pillows "are you comfy there princess? Can I start now?" I ask she shoots me the cutest glare I have ever seen and smiles nodding her head "Yes Mommy now chop chop!" she cries. I run over to the bed and settle myself down next to her "alright mija this story takes place in Lima, Ohio about 13 years ago remember all the names are changed so time to figure it out on your own…"

_Past January 2003- New Years Eve Lima, Ohio _

_As I sip my beer I listen to Kurt ramble about how Blaine cheated on him I assume he's a little tipsy considering Blaine and him broke up 4 years ago after Kurt graduated from high school. I subtly roll my eyes and cut him off "Kurt it was 4 years ago get over it you have Adam now anyway and that's been going well right?" I ask Kurt scoffs and rolls his eyes at me "That's not the point Santana! Ever since that gel monster cheated on me in high school I haven't been the same!" he screams way to loud for me considering I'm right next to him "okay Kurt you have fun here I'm going to find Dianna" I say as I slowly step away from a flaring Kurt. Truth be told I love Kurt he's been my best friend since high school and all through university especially with my whole coming out and all. Kurt was always there and he really is like the gay brother I have always wanted, since graduating from university this year I have been way happier and there's only one reason for that "Dianna!" I scream as I see her beautiful blonde locks and green eyes searching for my brown. I walk up to her and suddenly my face is greeted by the biggest grin, god I love her. "Hey hun I was just telling Mike here how your going off to New York next week" she says with a hint of sadness I look at her with the most loving look I could muster up "its only 2 months babe then we can finally put our plan into action" I say with a smile. The plan oh how I love that plan it gives me so much hope to get through my New York internship, The plan has been in place for about a year that me and Dianna decided on, its going to happen I know it is, get married, have our dream jobs, have kids and grow old together. "I know I just wish you weren't leaving me here" she says with a cute little pout I kiss her pout and she's smiling even bigger than before "you know I love you and its only 2 months trust me it will go by so fast" I say and lean in to kiss her again her hands interlace behind my neck as she deepens the kiss and I find my hands on her waist. Her tongue glides across my bottom lip begging for entry when a sudden "eh hem!" forces us apart I look up to find Mike awkwardly staring at us I forgot he was standing there in the first place "sorry Mike" I say with a giggle "its alright San I'm gonna go find Tina" he says I nod and wave at him goodbye. When I turn back to face Dianna her grin is more seductive than anything I have ever seen and suddenly I'm begging for a closet or something "you know" she starts "you in that red dress is seriously the hottest thing ever" she whispers in a low husky voice that sends a chill down my spine. I look into her Hazel eyes preparing to kiss her when all of a sudden a loud count down breaks me out of my haze "10, 9, 8, 7…" I smile at her giving her a knowing look "you know in about 6 seconds I'm going to be the luckiest girl in here?" I say "oh really now" she counters "what makes you say that?" I smile at her giving her my best seductive smirk "5, 4, 3, 2, 1… HAPPY NEW YEAR!" before I can say anymore I grab her waist and pull her into the most heated kiss I have ever endured. As we pull away I know that I love her and nothing could ruin this moment._

_About a week after New Years Dianna is staring at me on the corner of my bed with the saddest look I could ever see on anyone. As I catch her staring she looks away and tries to give me a cute little half smile knowing how much this probably hurts her I walk up to her and kneel down so I'm at her eye level "babe stop, please? I know it sucks but its only 2 months I promise you it will fly" I say as I take her hands in mine. "babe I know but its going to be really hard without you… I know I'm going to come visit you 2 weeks before your internship is over but its still far away" she says with the cutest pout I look at her with the saddest smile, in all the 3 years we have been dating I have never seen her look so sad. "Look I know its going to be hard but we'll skype everyday and call and do as much as we can while were this far-" I say but suddenly I'm cut off "I don't know about that Lopez those New York chicks are hotter than hot I don't even think you can resist" Puck says with a devilish smirk I pick up the pillow on my bed and chuck it at his perfectly formed Mohawk. "Fuck off Puck I don't need any New York 'chicks' I have the most perfect one right here" I smile directing my gaze at Dianna who gives me a full on grin "gag me please" Puck says while sticking his finger in his mouth I flip him off as he blows me a kiss. Puck is my roommate and also a pain in my ass but I guess I would be lying if I didn't love him a little bit I mean we have been friends since high school. As I finish packing my luggage I look to Dianna who is still pouting I really can't do anything at this point I just need to tell her I love her and that I'll be home soon, I pick up my fully packed luggage "C'mon babe the taxi is here" I say with the slightest frown she stands and grabs my hand as we exit the apartment and onto the sidewalk. She runs her fingers through my brown locks tucking a piece of brown hair behind my ears "I love you so much babe and I'm so proud of you but come back home soon" she whispers I pull her into the tightest hug I could ever give anyone "I love you Dianna I love you so much have fun here and I promise 2 month will fly" I say as I pull away from the hug. I cup her cheek and pull her into a steamy kiss as we part which I feel she hesitates doing so, she whispers "Bye babe" and a small tear trickles down her cheek I let go of her hand and get into the back seat of the taxi. As the taxi pulls away I wave to her goodbye and a small tear escapes my eye I didn't think leaving her would be so hard until I saw what was to come in New York. _

"WAIT!" Anita yells as there is a pause in my story, "You just left Dianna?! Why?! You love her!" she cries with the saddest face. I roll my eyes as I get ready to explain "Mija I had an internship in New York I wasn't going to pass that up it was my dream now can I get back to the story?" I ask. As she contemplates what I've said I notice she has her thinking face on "No you can't mommy I need more answers to my questions!" she cries I subtly nod as to say 'go ahead' and she pipes up a little. "So you left Dianna for a job and Dianna is your College sweetheart right mommy?" she says in the smallest voice, I nod again answering her questions. Then she starts to nod and processes she definitely has her mothers thinking face "So now you're in New York for a interpretship?" she asks I giggle a little as she tries to say internship "yes hun I'm there for an internship" I say correcting her. Then with a sudden leap she gets up from the bed and runs to the kitchen about 2 minutes later she's got a felt and note pad in her hand she's making little boxes as she writes _Dianna _in the first box along with all the points we just discussed I realize she's taking notes how cute is that. "Alright is that all the questions for now?" I ask hoping she nods and she does "yes mommy continue" she says in the most serious tone. "okay so where was I ah New York…"

_Present New York January 2004_

_Arriving in New York is the most exciting and outstanding feeling in the world the hustle and bustle the fast paced nature of it all is definitely more my speed than boring Lima. As I get to my apartment building I tip the taxi guy as I get out its huge but not super extravagant just the average apartment in New York, when I get to the elevator I suddenly become nervous I haven't met my other intern partner yet that I'll be sharing the apartment with for 2 months. "shit" I whisper as I enter the elevator and hit the 21__st__ floor, I cant believe I was stupid enough not to meet with them first I had Dianna on the brain obviously. Since this apartment was given by the record company I'm interning for its only customary to share it with your partner as I reach the 21__st__ floor I'm suddenly extremely nervous as I enter the dimly lit apartment I think I'm alone but a loud bang quickly erases that thought. As I enter the kitchen I see an extremely tall guy with dark hair and a goofy looking smile plastered on his face as he sees me he drops what he's doing and runs over "I-I'm Finn Hudson" he stammers obviously nervous "Santana Lopez" I say shortly. He becomes even more nervous by my answer "wh-where are you from?" he stammers for the second time and I decide to cut his nerves off "Listen stammers I'm from Lima, Ohio okay? And I'm gay so get your panties out of a knot and stop being so damn nervous" I say a little sharper than intended. His mouth drops open but is quickly erased by a sigh of relief "thank god, I don't think I could handle someone so hot and straight living here" he laughs shaking off my previous tone with him I giggle a little at how dorky he is. I figure I can grow to like him he seems like a decent guy I just told him I was gay and it didn't phase him at all definitely a stand up guy. "so" I start "what exactly are you doing in here?" I say "oh I decided I could try cooking but uh it doesn't seem to be working out" he says with a blush, I laugh as I walk over to the oven to view what he's making but its so badly burnt I can't even tell. "Yeah just leave the cooking to me and we'll order take out tonight" I say we both laugh until were purple in the face, after our pro longed laughing fit we sit down at the dinner table deciding on what to order when suddenly I realize I haven't even gone to my room yet "uh Finn where's the room?" I ask "oh mines down the hall and yours is right there do you need help unpacking?" he asks with the shiest tone. I give him a slight nod as he picks up my luggage and carries it to my room definitely a gentleman I open the door to an extremely large room with a walk in closet Finn is just as shocked as I am which gives me the impression he just took a room without thinking "wow" we both mutter at the same time. "where do u want this?" he asks as the shock settles in "um on the bed for now" I say he places the luggage on the bed when suddenly it snaps open "Oh shit! Sorry!" he mutters I walk over to him and smile "No problem Finnocence it was an accident" I say he smiles and blushes a bit as I go to shut the luggage but something catches my eye. A brown package with the name 'Lea Michele 988 west 50__th__' along with the brown package there's a note from Dianna on the back that reads…_

_Babe, _

_Please give this to Lea I've had it for a really long time and I figure its time I give this back I love you please make sure she gets it. Xoxox Dianna._

_I smile a little at the note and I realize I almost completely forgot about Dianna since I got here wow how awful am I? I look at the package and become immediately baffled who's Lea? And why have I never heard of her? I take the package as I sit down on my bed and Finn comes beside me. "Who's Lea?" he whispers I'm taken back a bit by his forwardness but I'm already really comfortable with him so I decide to share " I don't know there's a note from my girlfriend saying to give this package to her but I don't know who she is?" I answer Finn looks a little confused himself but decides not to push it. Smart move. "you have a girl?" he asks "what she look like?" I smile a bit because he's asking about Dianna "Oh I have a Pic" I say as I reach into my bag and grab a nicely framed picture with Dianna in it. "wow" he starts "she's stunning" he whispers gripping the picture I smile because he uses stunning instead of hot or smoking I respect that. As I pull the picture away he smiles with a half smirk and devious look in his eyes "what do you think is in the package?" he asks in a low voice I shake my head knowing what he's thinking "no way I'm not opening it!" I yell a little taken back Finn smirks "C'mon I know your dying to know!" he says I smile and become a little weirded out about how good he is at reading people. Truth is I'm dying to know mostly because its my girlfriend but also because I have to make this call to someone I don't even know saying I have a package for her from someone she probably hasn't heard from in years. I smirk a little but quickly shake my head "no no your wrong I don't" I say Finn just shrugs and smiles "Well if you wanna open it I'm right here" he says in a devious voice as he gets up to leave my room I sit there for awhile glaring at the package. Before I do anything I might regret I pick up the phone and dial the number on the package._

"Okay Okay wait" Anita says a little confused by it all " so you meet Finn who right now sounds like the funniest guy" she giggles, I giggle to because she's right Finn has always been a funny guy I sure do miss him. I smile a bit remembering our 2 months together during the internship definitely some serious bonding time happened. My thoughts are quickly gone though as Anita snaps her fingers to get my attention "Mommy! Why didn't you open the package for Lea! I would've?" she asks I smile a bit "I'm not done yet now am I?"I say in a mysterious voice. She nods her head and quickly pipes up "Okay Okay continue continue!" she says with so much eagerness. "Okay so where were we right…"

_2 weeks later after starting the internship I suddenly feel right at home the city, the studio everything about it I love and I never want to leave the beauty of it all. Finn and I have been working on a project for the head producer all morning, Ms. Jones she's definitely the coolest boss ever, as I'm making copies for her I hear my name being called "LOPEZ!" I hear loud enough for probably the entire office to hear. I leave the copy machine and run to Ms. Jones office I knock twice and I'm immediately greeted with her pearly white smile "hey girl! I need you to run down to the dance department and ask for the head choreographer to give me the tape of the new dancers okay?" she asks in the sweetest tone. I nod my head and sprint out of the office to the dance department I'm a little to eager for this but it's the first thing she's asked me to do all week that has nothing to do with coffees or copies. As I get to the big door that reads 'Dance Department' I know I made it to the right place I was pretty nervous because this place is huge and I didn't want to get lost. I turn the knob of the door and I'm greeted with loud blaring music and a group of dancers dancing to what sounds like Britney Spears as I creep inside the studio I look around to find the choreographer and I find him alright but he's teaching and I find it better if I don't interrupt because he looks like the type you don't want to mess with. I patiently wait until the choreographer is done until I talk to him so I just sit and watch the dancers one dancer in particular actually she's absolutely flawless with long blond hair and an amazing body that flows perfectly to the music. I can't keep my eyes off of her as I watch her dance she's perfect, suddenly the butterflies in my stomach intensify and my palms get sweaty just by her dancing she has this affect on me what. The. Hell. My heart is literally racing at this point and I realize I have to know her when suddenly a pang of guilt washes over me. Dianna. I can't know that dancer she will definitely cause some problems for me no matter how beautiful she is I can't do that to Dianna I love her. But this is a new feeling for me watching this dancer every part of her is perfect and I can't keep my breath from hitching every time she does some sort of dance move. Suddenly the music stops and I'm left gazing at the tall blonde "woah" I whisper under my breath. The choreographer dismisses his dancers, when I realize I've been down here for a solid hour just watching the one dancer my face flushes red and suddenly I'm really happy for my tan skin color. When the dancers are dismissed I quickly go up to the head Choreographer avoiding eye contact with the extravagant blonde, I tap his shoulder to get his attention "hi I'm the intern for Ms. Jones and she wanted me to tell you that she would like to view the tape of the new dancers" I say a little shaky still in awe of the blonde who is now smiling at me while sipping her water bottle behind the choreographer. I smile a little bashfully at her and I'm so immersed in her beauty that I don't even listen to the choreographer I catch the tail end of it though "follow me" he says and I follow him. When I turn my back to the blonde I subtly look behind me and still see her smiling and now she's blushing a smile floods my face that by this point I have completely tuned out the choreographer. He takes me into the back room and hands me the tape he waves at me to get out and I do as I am told quickly, when I get back outside I notice that the only dancer left is her. The blonde. She's stretching in the middle of the floor and suddenly her hair flips up and she's looking up at me standing a solid 5 feet away. She smiles at me as she walks over "hey" she smiles "hi" I say she giggles a bit and I can tell she knows I'm nervous "so you're the hot new intern everyone has been talking about?" she says I smile and blush a bit I know there not talking about Finn so I immediately feel nervous "y-yeah I am I guess" I say with a giggle, she laughs and sticks out her hand "I'm Brittany" she says in the coolest and calmest way I take her hand in mine and a wave of electricity shoots through me I smile at the very new feeling "I'm Santana" I say. She smiles the most adorable smile in the entire world "so Santana where are you from?" she asks I give her a perplexed look wondering why she wouldn't assume I'm from here "how do you know I'm not from here?" I counter a little more flirtatious then I wanted. She smiles at me "I just know" she says and winks she grabs her bags as we walk out of the dance department "well I'm from Lima, Ohio so I'm definitely not from here" I say with a laugh "where are you from?" she smiles and giggles "I'm from here actually" she says. That's how she knows I laugh at how insanely cute she is and she laughs too "well Santana as being a resident New Yorker I think its my duty to show you around" she says in a very flirtatious voice. I stop and think about this an extremely gorgeous blonde with blue eyes and a rocking body is asking me to let her show New York to me? If I was single this would be an easy yes but I'm not but there's also a part of me that wants to with a deep breath I say "I don't find any issue with that" she smiles and giggles, she does that a lot and she leaps to hug me "okay okay cool!" she says as she pulls away from the hug and I immediately miss her warmth. "Give me your phone" I say and she smiles even more, she reaches into her purse and grabs it she gently places it into my hands and I take it just grazing our fingers which feels so soft and soothing I put my name and number into her phone and give it back she gives me a smirk and says "well Ms. Santana I got to go now but I will definitely be calling" she says in the very flirtatious voice I smile and nod waving her goodbye._

"HOLD UP!" Anita yells as she stops sipping her juice for a minute "Your cheating on Dianna, mommy!" she cries I immediately shake my head and frantically wave my arms "NO NO! I just gave her my number nothing more! But we did become friends after that but I didn't do anything until…" I say "Until what!" Anita yells! "just listen to the story Mija I promise it will make sense!" I yell. Anita nods her head and it isn't until I look up that I see her notebook has 3 names on it already _Dianna, Lea and Brittany _with little notes on the side. I smile at how smart she is I haven't even gotten to Lea and she already knows about her. "Alright so can I continue?" I ask, Anita nodes and I continue "So about another 2 weeks later…"

_I'm sitting in the kitchen with Finn waiting for phone to ring it was a little over 3 weeks ago that I called Lea to leave her a message about the package she said she would get back to me today. Finn and I have been on edge all day waiting he's just as curious as I am and seriously the suspense is killing us both, suddenly Finn stands up "I can't wait anymore Santana OPEN IT!" he yells I contemplate what he's saying and I realize I can't handle it anymore either "Okay! Okay! Were opening it" I yell back. Finn does a fist bump in the air and his goofyness makes me laugh I rip open the package and I'm shocked to see what's inside Finn's mouth is hanging open and we literally can't believe we've waited this long to open it. Finn grabs it from me "It's a diary!" he yells and starts to read I reach for it and he rips it away "NO! Finn we can't read it! Its personal!" I yell back but Finn just lifts it over my head "C'mon Lopez! I know you wanna read it! Don't even try to deny it!" he says I realize he's right and I hate it when he's right. Damn. I nod as he begins reading it from the middle where the bookmark lies. He starts to read and I get nervous "A few weeks ago I met Dianna and we have been inseparable since, tonight is our last night in the dorms and I can't control myself anymore I grab her arm and I know what will happen next…" he says with wide eyes I can't believe what he's saying I rip it away from him and start reading out loud "she's a little shocked at first but soon our kiss become hot and uncontrollable" realizing I can't go on I close it tight. Finn glares at me not knowing what to say I sit there with a stunned look and silence soon takes over but suddenly my phone rings. I look at it and both Finn and I know exactly who it is I pick it up and press answer "hello?" I say my voice a little shaky "Hi Santana? This is Lea I was wondering when you would be able to drop off the package?" she says I look at my watch then to the diary and I realize I need to get rid of this now "now" I say a little to eager "I mean if that's okay" I say correcting myself. I hear a little giggle on the other line what's with New York girls giggling? "now is perfect actually" she says I take in a sigh of relief "okay I'll be there in 20?" I say "sure bye I'll see you soon" she says I hang up the phone and work on re wrapping the paper. When I look up I realize Finn staring at me but he just shrugs it off and walks away that's what I like about Finn he doesn't grind me to answer questions mostly because he knows by now that I can be a little vicious. I take the package and my keys and yell 'bye' as I slam the door I run out onto the street and it only takes me a solid 10 minutes to get there. I run into the apartment building and knock on the door I'm left waiting for a little longer than I hoped, as the door flies open I'm greeted by a middle aged man with a butt chin and glasses. "who are you?" he says in a hoarse voice "I'm Santana I'm here to see uh Lea?" I say as realization hits him he nods his head and waves me to come in "she just went out to get coffee she'll be back soon" he says I nod to him and he takes a seat on the sofa, he looks to be about 40 but he's attractive and has a nice body for his age I look him up and down and I realize he's smirking at me. "you know for a lesbian your extremely hot" he says I'm a little taken back by how upfront he is but mostly because I didn't even mention to him I was a lesbian "how did you-" I say but he cuts me off "I'm a professor I know everything and I can read people like a book you're an easy one" he says I just nod still a little baffled. About 20 minutes pass by as I hear the door open I stand up and I'm greeted by a extremely beautiful petite girl with long brown hair. My eyebrow arches a little at how pretty she is, she takes a step towards me and puts her hand out "hi Santana nice to finally meet you, I'm sorry I didn't get back to you until now I've been working on a show for months" she says I smile at how bubbly she is "its alright I've been busy too, if you don't mind me asking what type of show?" I ask "broadway" she starts "I'm just an understudy though I just graduated from NYADA" I stand shocked. NYADA is the most prestigious performing arts school in the country "wow that's incredible" is all I can muster up to say, she smiles and takes a seat next to the now sleeping man "I see you've met my boyfriend Will Shuester" she giggles once again my jaw drops and I cannot believe it "That's Will Shuester the head performing arts professor at NYADA?! He's an outstanding performer I remember him winning a Tony when I was 10!" I yell with excitement. Lea just nodes and smiles "yeah he's a cutie isn't he?" she giggles I smile at how adorable she is, she looks up to me with an awaiting expression and I realize why I even came here in the first place "Oh right, here you go" I say handing her the now wrapped up Diary. "thanks" she says with a smirk, she slowly unwraps the paper and her eyes bug out "no way! I can't believe she still had this!" she yells as she takes the journal out and starts to read it her smile grows as she reads it but soon it vanishes. "d-did you read this?" she asks, with a shocked look on my face I frantically shake my head "n-no way that's way to personal!" I say but she just smirks and I already know she doesn't believe me "Fine I read a page" I say finally which is somewhat true she just smiles and nods "its okay to explore curiosity that's what Will tells me to do all the time" she says. I smile and breathe in a sigh of relief "well thank you for not being mad" I laugh "I better be going I guess I'll see you around" I say with a smile. As I exit the apartment Lea follows me out, just when I turn to hit the elevator button and back to her I see her face extremely close to mine and suddenly she kisses me. It takes me a few seconds to register what's happening but I kiss her back which shocks me I shouldn't be kissing her back but I do anyway. Suddenly she pulls away and I instantly want more "sorry" she starts "I was just curious" she says and before I can say anything she's back in her apartment closing the door. I stand there completely in shock but it was the softest, nicest kiss I've probably ever gotten my mind didn't flutter to Dianna once though. Shit Dianna. It was just a kiss nothing more but it felt more I quickly shake the feeling though and decide to call Dianna and tell her how much I miss her when I get home. As I step out onto the night air I get a text from an unknown number…_

_Hey Santana! It's Brittany! I was wondering if you wanted to get lunch after work than I can take you on our tour! Xoxo Britt _

_My heart flutters bit at the text and I don't know what I'm feeling its so new its like nothing I have ever felt before but I can't say no and before I can think my fingers take control _

_Hey Britt! Yes I'm so in for lunch and our tour how's tomorrow? Xoxo San_

_The text comes out a little more flirty then intended, but this feeling keeps poking me my thoughts quickly fade when my phone dings. Another text._

_Perfect J xoxo Britt_

_My smile grows even more and I honestly can't wait to hang out with her tomorrow but then there's the pang of guilt again Dianna. Dianna is the love of my life would she be okay with me doing this? But soon enough it doesn't even matter as I keep re-reading the text over and over again._

_Perfect. _

_I realize that it should totally be okay me and Brittany have been friends for weeks now I'm sure everything will be completely perfect. As I walk past my apartment building I walk straight for the jewelry shop down the road I enter and I suddenly realize how perfect this is right now. Dianna is coming to visit in 2 weeks and I've decided to purpose this makes me the happiest woman alive right now. I go straight for the man and hand him my pick up order sheet he gives me a sturdy smile and goes to retrieve my ring. I love Dianna and I'm going to purpose in 2 weeks everything feels just right except for that nagging feeling that I'm doing something wrong but I'm quick to ignore it as the man brings me my ring "here you go mam you have a lovely day" I smile and nod to him as I leave the store. I'm all smiles as I leave and I realize I have to go home and tell Finn everything He already knows how I met Brittany but I have to tell him about the Lea encounter and the ring he's going to be more goofy then ever…_

"Mommy! You bought a ring! Holy! That's so cute!" Anita yells as she grips my arm I smile at how innocent she is "yes mija I bought a ring I really did love Dianna but there's more to the story okay?" Anita Nods. "okay so…"

_When I get to the apartment I see Finn anxiously awaiting for me on the couch, when the door closes he rises up and jumps over the back of the couch "SO?!" he says with a goofy smile. I knew it. I go to the coach and sit on the other side "well I met her and she's stunning long brown hair, short bangs in the front and really tiny" I say with a giggle. Finn nods at me to continue "well I met her boyfriend Will and he was charming I guess?" I say a little confused if that's the right word for him but I shake it off "then I saw her and she was just the nicest and cutest thing I gave her the book and she was just as shocked as we were when we opened it" I explain Finn's on the edge of his seat now "when she opened it she asked if I read it at first I denied it of course" Finn's face is literally priceless right now "then she gave me a smirk and she knew so I caved and told her I read a page" I say. Finn is in shock and his words are just not coming out right "oh my God what did she say when you told her?!" he asks, I smile a bit "she said that it was okay and that exploring your curiosity is a good thing" I explain and Finn's grin grows even more. "then that's not even the most interesting part" I say Finn's face is all dopey and smiley "Oh. My. God. Keep going c'mon Lopez!" he shrieks like a little girl I smile and wave him down "as I'm about to leave Lea leads me outside and catches me completely off guard and kisses me!" I yell Finn's literally about to jump out of his seat "and after the kiss she said 'sorry I was just curious' can you believe it?" I ask with a grin and a laugh. Finn just smiles "Lopez got the moves" he says with the cheesiest grin I punch him in the arm and mutter "shut up Finnocence" he just laughs it off. Then I realize that's not even the good part "oh Finn I gotta tell you something!" I say "There's more Lopez?! What did you do sleep with her?!" he asks and I knows he's joking "no you ass I bought this" I say as I reach into my bag and pull out the diamond ring. His face literally looks like he saw a ghost he picks up the ring to examine it "holy shit Lopez your going to propose to Dianna when she comes aren't you?!" I smile and nod "wow I'm so happy for you" he says and pulls me into a bear hug. I thought I would feel so much better telling him but the nagging feeling is still there as I pull away from the hug I go to my bedroom to get ready for work tomorrow. I should be happy? I should be thinking about Dianna but the only thing I can think about was that kiss with Lea and my lunch with Brittany tomorrow. It worries me that I'm thinking of other girls besides my actual girlfriend but I shake the feeling off after I realize how silly I'm being it was a little kiss nothing more and Brittany is just a friend nothing should feel wrong and yet it does…_


	3. Chapter 3

Authors Note: Hey guys so here's chapter 3! I hope you guys aren't confused too much about where I'm going with this so I hope you enjoy I will be uploading once every 2 days I hope so stay with me! And please read and review I promise this story is just getting started! You'll enjoy alright here it is! remember loosley based off of _Definitely, Maybe._

Chapter 3-_Mistakes_

"Holy mommy your in deep trouble!" Anita cries as I pause the story to get her some tea, "I know Mija I know" I say a little exhausted from the truth behind the story. Sure I may have been slightly confused with my feeling back then for Lea and Brittany but I still loved Dianna and I thought that was enough to want to purpose but I sure was wrong. I take a deep breath as I get ready to continue the story but my mind is brought out of my thoughts by Anita's excitement. "Mommy Continue I really wanna know what happens with Brittany and Lea!" she cries. I take a relieved sigh "Okay hun…"

_I wake up the next day with a slight headache "Damn!" I yell as I see Finn's excited face over top of me "what the hell Finnocence are you trying to kill me?!" I scream. Finn just shakes his head "no Lopez! I wanted to tell you something before work your friend Kurt called he said it was urgent" he says, I jump to say something but he cuts in "I did tell him you were sleeping but he told me to come wake you" he says basically reading my mind, I get out of bed with a slight grumble as I reach for the phone "hello?" I say in my very hoarse morning voice "Santana! You've been in New York for a month and you don't know how to call!" he screams immediately making me flinch cause of my pounding headache. "Kurt! I have been working and a lot of shit has been happening! So if you don't mind tone down the volume I have a migraine the size of your shoe closet!" I scream back not helping my headache. "woah Lopez stressed much?" he replies, I give him a soft sigh "well yeah I have a lot on my mind Porcelain and yes I'm extremely stressed" I say he just giggles I presume its from the old high school nickname. "well I am your best friend Satan you can tell me?" he says and this time its my turn to giggle at my nickname, I take a deep breath and prepare to tell Kurt my plan "Well first things first I'm purposing to Dianna-" I say but he immediately cuts me off "NO! SATANA! WHAT?! THAT'S AMAZING-" he says but I cut him off right back "I'm not done Kurt" I say with a little edge "Oh okay continue" he says and I can tell my voice is a little uneven. "I-I made a mistake and I kissed another girl" I say a little scared for his reaction "San! You've loved Dianna since freshman year! What possessed you to kiss another girl!?" he cries. I take a deep breath "Kurt she technically kissed me and- and that's not even the weird part… I-I didn't even stop her I kissed her back i-it was nice" I say with a stammer. I hear Kurt give a huge sigh on the other line and I can sense the disappointment "San asking her to marry you is not the way out of this… you need to tell her-" he says but I cut him off. Again. "Kurt I'm still not done…" I say with the heaviest heart how did I get into this mess? "Santana! What else!?" he says "there's another girl Brittany… I haven't done anything with her but I have this weird and very new feeling around her and its really starting to scare me and-and I'm going out for lunch with her today but just as friends that's all" I say. Kurt gives another heavy sigh "okay are you done?" he says, I nod but then I realize he can't see me "yes" I say awaiting for what is probably the best advice I'll ever get "San do you love Dianna?" he asks "yes? What kind of question is that?" I say "Okay and you want to spend the rest of your life with her right?" "Yes" I repeat for the third time. "Okay San these girls don't mean anything the love of your life is coming in two weeks your going to purpose to her and fulfill your very detailed 'plan' you can't do anything about Lea that's already been done but you can stop yourself from doing something with Brittany Okay?" he finally ends. I take a deep breath and contemplate his words, I realize he's right and that these girls really don't mean anything "Okay Kurt your right! I'm going to purpose to Dianna and spend the rest of my life with her" I say with a smile I hear him giggle on the other side "Okay good! I'm so happy for you San! You found the one" he says and a smile takes over my face. I look for the time when a short comfortable silence takes over and I realize I'm going to be late "Shit Kurt I gotta go thanks so much for the advice I don't know what I would do without you" I say, "No problem Satan you're my girl I got you babe I better talk to you soon Bye!" he says I smile and say "definitely bye lady" and with that I jump out of bed feeling a bit better but that nagging feeling is still there. I decide to shake it off and get ready for work…_

"I like Kurt mommy! He's cool!" Anita says with a huge grin on her face I smile at her I love Kurt too he has always been there for me and he still is to this day I definitely have to introduce the two. "Mommy! What were you thinking agreeing to go out with Brittany?!" she asks, I take in another deep breath "well honey it's a little complicated, I had feelings for Brittany but I couldn't act on them because I loved Dianna, I really did but I'm not done yet so the story should make sense soon enough okay?" she nods and I guess that's my cue to continue but I freeze for a second. The more I tell the story out loud the more I realize something I should've realized 13 years ago…

_I arrive to work with Finn just on time that talk with Kurt this morning really eased my nerves about Lea and Brittany but just a little cause this nagging feeling just won't give up. I constantly go back and forth thinking of Brittany and Lea and wonder why I cant get this feeling out of my system, as I lean against the copy machine awaiting for my copies to finish a strong arm wraps around by shoulder I shake myself out of my thoughts and see Finn grinning at me "Hey Lopez what's with the look?" he asks. I give him a perplexed look as to say 'what look?' he shrugs " the look that seemed like you just killed your cat" he says while playing with the pencil on his ear, I take in a breath and contemplate telling him my thoughts I figure why not "Its just I can't shake this feeling? Like I don't know what it is? Its extremely weird like I don't even know" I say. He just looks up and gives me a stupid 'Finn Grin' I like to call it "your confused as fuck my friend" he says like it's the simplest thing in the world "whatever I'll figure it out" I say shrugging it off myself. He smiles and walks away he definitely knows something the beeping of the copy machine brings me out of my haze I bend down to get my copies when suddenly two hands cover my eyes, I hear giggling and instantly I know who it is "guess who?" the mystery person says and a small grin tugs at my lips "I don't know…hmm maybe Brittany?" I say and suddenly the hands lift from my eyes and I see her beautiful blue eyes sparkle. Damn they sure do shine "hey" I say with what I can feel to be the biggest grin I've given all day, she grins back and I can feel the butterflies form in my stomach "Hi sanny!" she says and usually that name would make me cringe but coming from her lips it sounds so sweet. Woah what am I thinking?! I shake my head out of those thoughts but suddenly her hand his grabbing mine and I can feel my stomach literally twisting. "Britt! Where are we going?" I yell while giggling, she stops and a pout forms on her lips and suddenly I get the urge to kiss the pout away but I stop myself "you didn't forget right? Our lunch?" she says as realization hits me I look at the time damn lunchtime already? That's why Finn walked out of the office we always get off on Fridays around 12 its like a 'gift' as Ms. Jones puts it. "Of course not Britt! Lets go!" I say a little to eager for my liking but whatever, a smile floods her face and the pout vanishes "Yay! Lets go!" she says and suddenly I'm being whisked out of the office. We make our way onto the city streets and a comfortable silence takes over us both, were walking for a solid 20 minutes when I realize our hands are still clasped as shock takes over I rip my hand away a little to fast and I can see the hurt look on her face "sorry I just I have to get my phone" I say and I cringe at the lame excuse but she lightens up and I'm guessing she bought it. I look up to view the city around us I have been so occupied with Brittany and how stunning she is I realize I have no clue where we are "Britt where are we?" I say a little confused, she just smiles "well Ms. Lopez if I told you that it wouldn't be a surprise now would it?" she says I smile at how insanely adorable she is "Okay, Okay" I say and give her the sweetest smile I could possibly conjure up. We walk for another 10 minutes when I realize were on a trail to a park bench with a picnic basket and a perfect view of the city from the top of the hill "woah Britt this i-is incredible!" I shriek with excitement, she smiles and I swear it's the happiest smile I've ever seen "I know right I kinda wanted to make it great so I thought of this!" she says we run up the hill giggling and laughing. We sit at the picnic table and enjoy the prepared sandwiches and wine, about 2 hours go by and we come to the topic of relationships. "So Santana" she starts "do you have a special someone in your life?" she asks with a wink, a sinking feeling fills my chest at realizing I have to tell her about Dianna which shocks me because I usually love to talk about Dianna but not with Brittany… weird. "Uh yeah I do" I say and I can see her face falter a bit but her smile remains intact "Her name is Dianna she lives in Lima and she's actually coming to visit in 2 weeks" I say and her grin grows "oh. My. God you have to let me meet her!" she says my stomach sinks even more seeing how happy she is for me which is really weird what the fuck am I feeling? "yeah sure I'm sure she would love to meet you" I say "So how long have you two been dating?" she asks and I can tell she feels comfortable with the topic "4 years and actually I'm proposing when she visits" I say. Her face lights up at my impending proposal and she shrieks "Oh. My. God! How are you gonna ask her! Oh wait I got the perfect idea! Practice on me!" she says and suddenly I become extremely nervous practicing on her. I swallow the lump that formed in the throat and wipe my brow "Uh I don't know" I say a little skeptical. Her smile falters a bit "C'mon San! You don't even know what your gonna say! Practice on me please!" she says I smile at how great of a friend she is I've only known her for a month and we have already become really comfortable. "Okay Britt okay" I say suddenly she gets up and walks over to me she waves at me to stand up, I do what she says and she takes my hands and the butterflies return instantly. "okay" she starts "how are you gonna do this?" I shrug not knowing how exactly I'm going to purpose to Dianna "really San? C'mon start it off" she says "okay Brittany the first-" I start to say but she cuts me off with her hand "no Dianna c'mon role play" she says nudging my arm with the hand that's not clasped in mine. I swallow the knot forming in my throat I don't know why I'm so nervous all of a sudden "Okay 'Dianna' the first time I saw you-" I manage to get out but she cuts me off. Again. "your not gonna get on one knee?" she asks I just shrug "no I wasn't planning on it?" I say "C'mon its tradition you need to!" she says I just shrug again "nah I'm not really the tradition type" I say she just nods and forces me to continue. "okay 'Dianna' the first time I laid my eyes on you I knew I wanted to know you, and when I knew you I had to have you will you uh marry me?" I say knowing that sounded like complete garbage. Brittany just scoffs "no" she says and I'm a little taken back "why?!" I say "because that sucked C'mon your asking me to give up my freedom, my life forever! You basically said 'will you uh marry me' C'mon San and also you should have gotten on one knee" she says and now its my turn to scoff I hate kneeling but I decide to humor her so I get on one knee "Dianna the first time I saw you I knew I had to know you and when I knew you I wanted to be with you, I saw your perfect eyes and perfect hair and I had to have you or I'd die" I start and I'm starting to actually wonder how much of this is actually about Dianna while staring at Brittany. "You make me happier than anyone I've ever met and I want to spend every waking hour with you I only want to see you when I wake up I want to make you mine forever so Dianna will you UH marry me?" I say ending what I think is the perfect proposal. Brittany just stands there taking in every word she breaths in a heavy breath "definitely, Maybe I don't know" she says with a laugh I just giggle at her cuteness "Well what did you think?" I ask she just stares at her hands for what feels like forever until she finally looks up "she has to be a fool to say no to that" she says with a sad smile but I'm pretty sure I'm imagining it. I smile back at her and suddenly she grabs my hands again "C'mon lets go back to my apartment!" she shrieks and I become a little nervous, it only takes about 5 minutes to get to her apartment from the park it's a cute homey type of apartment, I walk around it taking it in I notice what looks to be a large collection of Fleetwood Mac records but when I step closer I realize there the same album a little confused I look to Britt "Hey Britt why do you have so many copies of the same album?" I ask. I see her peak around the corner with a small smile "Well when I was 14 my dad bought me a Fleetwood Mac album for my birthday I loved Fleetwood Mac but I really wanted a new pair of earrings" she starts "so when I got the Rumors album I was extremely bummed out the album had a really sweet inscription from him which I couldn't give a damn at the time because of the earrings" she says and I can tell she's struggling a bit. I rest my hand on her back urging her to continue "But it turns out that the album would be the last gift my dad ever gave me because he died 3 weeks later in a car accident" she says and my heart literally breaks "Britt I'm so sorry I-I didn't know" I say she just waves it off and continues "so when we moved away my mom gave away a bunch of stuff including the album now every time I pass a record store I look through the used section and hope I can find my dad's" she says with a smile and I can't help but smile at her. "but lets not talk about that! This is a fun night lets enjoy it" she says as she grabs 2 beers and gives me one "I agree and thanks" I say. After about 2 hours of giggling and story telling we decide to listen to the entire Rumors album "This is nice" she starts "I love how we can just sit here and talk I love it" she says and I smile at her watching her beautiful blue eyes fixate themselves on my brown ones. "Me too" I say as she lays her head back down on my shoulder about 5 minutes later songbird comes on and a smile floods my face I remember singing this song in high school it was my favorite. "I love this song I sang it in Glee club in high school" I say and suddenly Brittany jolts up "no way! You? Glee club?" she says while giggling "Britt I do work for a record company of course I have some musical background" I say, she just smiles and nods. She suddenly makes eye contact and I become extremely nervous when she breaks it to look at my lips I realize I really can't hold it in anymore and I lean in to kiss her to my surprise she leans in the rest of the way and when our lips make contact I feel the warmth pool over as she interlaces her hands around my neck. She deepens the kiss and I can feel her tongue glide across my plump bottom lip I allow her access and our tongues battle for control she lets out a slight moan and I realize what were doing I jolt back a little surprised at my actions. I look up at the clock and notice the time its 6am how the fuck did I lose track like this? I think "I really gotta go Britt! I'm so sorry! I'll talk to you tomorrow at work okay?" I say and I see her nod but she's hesitant to let me go. "Bye San" she smiles I turn to the door but before I do I turn back to her "hey thanks for everything I really needed it and don't worry about you know… okay? Nothing will change were still friends" I say and I see her face lighten up a bit and that makes me smile "okay good I was worried!" she says "bye San!" she gets up to give me hug. After a very comfortable hug she pulls away and I never realized how much I miss the warmth "Bye Britt" I say as I leave the apartment and onto the city streets. I decide on running home so I can get ready for work, it takes me about 20 minutes to run there with the help of my Google Maps, as I reach my apartment building I run to the elevator when I see someone. I stand there shocked for a solid 10 seconds… Dianna? What is she doing here?! I start to panic as she enters the elevator I search for the staircase and I quickly find it, I sprint up the stairs the fastest I can possibly go as I reach the 21__st__ floor I sprint down the hall and run into the maids cart "shit!" I mutter as I knock it down. I run to my door ignoring the mess I just made and frantically search for my key hoping I beat Dianna up here I get my door open and I'm immediately greeted by a smiling Dianna and a smirking Finn. Shit. "Babe!" she yells as she jumps into my arms "surprise! I took an early flight I just couldn't wait to see you!" she says as I try desperately to catch my breath Finn just stares at me "yeah she's a super sweet girl Lopez you got a good one here " he says I smile at him cause I know he's right. "okay I'm gonna go to the office now Lopez I'll see you when I get home?" he says and I realize that today is actually my day off. Shit. Again. He waves at me and Dianna and walks out the door "Babe I'm so happy you're here" I say and I grab her waist to plant a chaste kiss to her lips "me too but I was wondering can we go for a walk?" she asks, a little confused I nod "sure sure lets go" I say and grab her hand. We walk all the way to the park and I decide that if I'm going to propose it has to be now the perfect scenery is just right I start to get nervous "hey Di did I ever tell you the story about how my dad proposed to my mom?" I ask and she just shakes her head and this is the first time I notice how nervous she is so I just continue the story "Okay so my dad he was off meeting my mom at some fancy restaurant in Lima and on the way there he sees his old girlfriend Molly Shwartz" I say and Dianna just giggles "So he runs into her and they get to talking and he starts thinking 'damn right now I could run off with Molly forever' but as he's thinking this he sees my mother around the corner waiting for him and in that moment he knows that she's the one" I say. She just shakes her head "wait I'm confused am I Molly or your Mom in this story?" she asks and I don't say anything I just get on one knee "Oh. My. God I'm your mom!" she says "Dianna the first time I saw you-" I say but she cuts me off waving her arms "San please stop!" she says and I just ignore her and continue I don't know why "I wanted to be with you and your incredible-" I manage to get out but she cuts me off again "San! Please!" she begs. We suddenly start rambling at the same time until she blurts out "I SLEPT WITH PUCK!". My eyes go wide as I slowly stand up in shock "what?" I say and I can't believe what she just said "I'm so sorry San I was just so lonely and our phone calls became shorter and you sounded different like-like you've changed" she says and now I'm more confused than ever "I just were so different now and I came here to tell you that I can't be with you anymore" she says and I can feel my heart break. My breath gets hitched and I can't believe what I'm hearing "but-but we had a plan! Everything we talked about! Were just gonna throw that away!" I say, she just shakes her head and says "no you had a plan San I never had one you just went with it, just lets end this with grace I'm setting you free to live out your plan" she says and I can't even look at her "my plan doesn't work without you" I say and she just tucks a piece of brown hair behind my ears "yes it does, I'm so sorry" she whispers and with that I'm left alone in the park but the feeling I have isn't heartbreak it's relief? When I first heard what she did it hurt but it quickly faded… maybe this is for the best._

"Oh mommy I'm so sorry" Anita says as she crosses the name Dianna from her notebook. "Its okay hun it was for the best I realize that now" I say and she sends me a reassuring look "it was a long time ago too so don't worry it doesn't even bug me anymore" I say and the smile grows on her lips. "So mommy now that Dianna is out what happens next?" she asks and I give her a big smile "Good things hun great things!" I say. As I'm about to start the story back up she stops me "wait mommy! One more question!" she says and I let out a moan "Ugh Dios mio Anita!" I say. She just lets out a giggle "so were you really in love with Dianna? Did she break your heart?" she asks, I nod a little answering her question I really was hurt but not as much as I thought I would be. "Okay you can continue" she says and I begin again.

_About 2 weeks later and a week before my internship is over Finn and I get called into Ms. Jones' office and I become really nervous. The last 2 weeks have been pretty great since me and Dianna broke up, the nagging feeling is gone and I don't have to worry anymore about cheating and being unfaithful even though while we were together Dianna had no problem doing that. I shake off the thought as I walk into Ms. Jones office "Hey Babies! Take a seat!" she says with pure excitement and I suddenly become way more relaxed. "So as you know your internship is up in a week right?" she says and Finn and I both nod " but I like you two and I hate to see you leave so I just fired the heads of our Indy music department and I'm offering the job to both of you as a partnership! Congrats honeys you made it!" she says and my face literally hurts from grinning too much. Finn can't control himself and he leaps up to give me a huge bear hug "We did it Lopez! Were gonna be heads of a whole department!" he screams with his dopey 'Finn Grin' I just laugh and say "I know Finnocence! And I couldn't have asked for a greater partner" he smiles bashfully "I couldn't agree more Lopez" he says, we both turn to Ms. Jones who now insists we call her Mercedes since were not her 'bitch slaves' anymore as she likes to put it. My face now officially hurts way too much from smiling and I realize I have to tell Brittany! Just hearing her name in my head sends me chills. I wave Finn goodbye and tell him I'll meet him at home to celebrate, I sprint to the dance department to tell my best friend about the job, yes she's my best friend after the kiss in her apartment we completely went back to normal and its been so fun hanging out with her these past weeks I really like her. As I walk into the studio I notice its pretty dead except for the one blonde beautiful one in the middle stretching I smile at her as she notices my presence. "Hey!" she says as she comes up to me and engulfs me in a bear hug just like Finn's but this one gives me an entire new feeling " I have something to tell you!" she says and I quickly nod "yeah so do I!" I say "okay okay go first!" she nods and continues "well I'm going on tour with Beyonce!" she says "for 2 years" she continues a little shaky awaiting my reaction, my heart literally crashes into the pit of my stomach. She just tries to smile and I can't help but smile back "I'm so happy for you Britt-Britt" I say with as much enthusiasm as I can but in reality I really hate the news "Thanks San! Okay now what's your big news?" she says with a sigh of relief at my calm reaction to her news and now that I think of it my news begs to differ compared to hers "well I was just promoted to head of the Indy music department, Finn and I are gonna be partners! " I say faking excitement, Brittany Pipes up and jumps up and down "Oh. My. God No way! That's amazing San! I'm insanely proud of you!" she says and I can't help but grin "I'm even more proud of you!" I say. Suddenly she jolts up "C'mon lets celebrate! Lets go drinking!" she says and I give her a frantic nod a drink is exactly what I need right now. It should be the happiest day of my life but as I gain something huge I lose something I think to be even huger and I can't help but feel sad because maybe I was just starting to realize… _


	4. Chapter 4

Authors Note: Hey guys! OMG thanks so much for the awesome reviews you guys seriously push me to update more and more I'm glad your loving it as much as I'm loving writing it! Anyways I decided to update Chapter 4 for you guys I hope you like it stuff really starts to pick up! Also** Read and Review!**

**StephaniieC: **Britt is definitely apart of her love story and I can't reveal why I didn't change her name but it plays an important part trust me stay with this and you'll find out soon!

**Quinntana2: **Thanks so much for your reviews I really enjoy reading them and I'm glad your enjoying it! Please feel free to review more!

**Doodle91xxx: **Thanks for the great feedback! Please feel free to review more I enjoy reading your comments!

Chapter 4-_Ring_

"Okay so let me get this straight?" Anita says as I pause the story because I really can't handle it at this point. How did I not realize my feelings in the past? All these feelings coming out as I tell the story is really irritating I was so stupid and young. Realizing I left Anita hanging I quickly nod to urge her to continue "So Dianna said no to marrying you-" she says but I cut her off "she didn't say no technically I didn't even ask we just… broke up" I say realizing that came out a little more pained than I wanted. "okay whatever, Dianna 'Broke up' with you" she starts while using finger quotes and I can't help but laugh "and Britt is leaving you to go on tour with Beyonce? Mommy why does nothing work out for you?" she says with a small pout and I can tell she's really sad. "Oh Anita hun the story isn't finished there's a happy ending" I say but her pout doesn't go away "But mommy it doesn't! there is no happy ending! You still end up divorced!" she cries and I realize she's crying at this point. This is the first time I really see the divorce take its toll on her and I realize its best to just stop the story "Mija I think I'm going to stop now-" I say but she immediately jolts up "No! I wanna know who mommy is so please keep going!" she cries as she wipes away her tears, I just give her a slight nod and kiss the top of her forehead "Okay hun so this takes place about 1 and a half years later…"

_June 2005 New York_

_As I sit on the couch with Finn, we sit there in comfortable silence looking at all the post cards Britt has sent me from all the cities she's been to since touring with Beyonce. Rome, Japan, Spain, LA all the cities someone dreams about I'm insanely proud of her but the fact that I haven't seen her in a year really depresses me. Over the year we've sent emails, letters, skyped and texted but nothing is compared to the actual Britt, her smile, her laugh, her eyes, and perfect flowing blonde hair I could literally talk about how perfect she is for hours, I never realized how much I actually cared for her I knew she gave me this weird feeling but I never really looked into it though but damn she's just well I can't even explain. Brittany is my best friend though I tell her everything I'm glad I found a best friend in her actually, yeah I have Finn too but Brittany is so easy and comfortable I really miss her. As Finn and I reminisce in the old post cards she's sent me I realize that something was caught in the middle Finn grabs it immediately and smiles his goofy grin "Ooo Lopez someone got an invite to a performance from one Lea Michele" he says in a sing-song type voice. I roll my eyes and rip the invite from him I haven't heard from Lea since that night after I dropped off the Diary when she kissed me so immediately I'm intrigued. That kiss gave me weird feelings too like really new feelings. as I examine the invite I see nothing special it just looks like all the other invites Finn and I get, since becoming heads of the Indy department a little over a year ago we get invites like this all the time the only difference is that its for Broadway and the star is William Shuestar. I smile because as a kid I watched all of his performances, this one just so happens to be tomorrow mine and Finn's only day off. I look to him and he still has that 'Finn grin' plastered on his face "So San are we going?" he says with a wink, I just roll my eyes "Well Finnocence I don't see why not?" I say in an equally intriguing tone he had. "well how bout the fact that the girl sending you the invite kissed you not so long ago?" he asks and I tense up a bit at the memory and a single butterfly flutters in my stomach. "Finn that was over a year ago and besides I love Broadway so why not?" I say, Finn just shrugs "Okay Lopez we're going I'll be your wingman" he says as he scampers away before I can hit him with the pillow I'm holding. "Little shit"._

"Mom! Are you and Lea going to date?!" Anita asks in a high-pitched shriek so loud I have to cover my ears. "Dios Mio Anita! I'm not done the story yet now am I?" I say slightly annoyed at all the little interruptions "Okay, okay mommy but just so you know if Lea ends up being my mom I'm becoming a Broadway star!" she says with so much excitement, I just roll my eyes "okay Anita can I get back to it?" I ask cause I actually want to explore this deeper. Weird. She gives me a little head nod "Okay so…"

_The night of the performance I decide to wear my nice heels and flaming red dress that shows just the right amount of cleavage not that I'm trying to, you know impress anyone I just figure it would be appropriate to dress nicely. As I head out the door my phone rings and I recognize that ring tone anywhere its 'songbird' and I know that its Britt I eagerly pick up my phone "Britt?!" I say with the same amount of excitement, as a little kid on Christmas would have. "San! Oh. My. God. I miss you so much! I can't wait to come home and tell you all about it!" she starts "not that I don't enjoy sending you postcards but I just… I really want to be able to hug you and stuff" she says and I can feel the butterflies. Again. It's the same feeling I get every time I hear Britt's voice or see her picture my palms get sweaty and the bundle of nerves in my stomach tightens even more. "I know Britt-Britt but you'll be home in 6 months then I can take you out and we can hang out all you want!" I say and I hear a small giggle on the other side "God San I have so much to tell you, well so much I want you to know…" she says a little more serious and I get nervous "you can tell me anything Britt you know that, but if you want to wait until you get home I respect that" I say hoping to lighten the mood a bit. "Thanks San I-I really appreciate it, and you" she says and I can tell she's smiling which automatically makes me smile, suddenly I feel a tap on my shoulder and its Finn signaling me that we have made it to the theatre and I immediately become sad again because that means I need to say bye to Britt. "No problem Britt but listen I gotta go I'll call you later okay?" I say and I can hear the sad sigh coming from her lips "Okay San I miss you! Bye" she says trying to muster up as much excitement "Bye Britt you too" I hang up the phone and a pang of guilt hits me I really do miss her. As I enter the theatre I hand the usher our tickets and he directs Finn and I to our seats "Wow" I mutter as I realize how close we are to the stage "yeah I know holy shit Lopez your girl hooked us up" he says and I give him a subtle punch as we take our seats "she's not my girl!" I say a little louder than intended and the whole row in front of us turns around "sorry" I mutter and they just scoff. Assholes the show hasn't even started yet. "who's not your girl?" a small voice comes from beside me and Finn jerks his head but I already know who it is. I turn around and I see the small, beautiful brunette I haven't seen in a year. Lea. Finn's eyes go wide and suddenly a lump has formed in my throat "L-Lea its so good to see you" I say with a slight stutter and a smile. Her brown eyes light up and her pearly white smile can be seen even in the slight darkness of the theatre "Hey Lopez nice to see you again" she says and I can feel the butterflies form its not the same feeling as Britt gives me but it's a nervous feeling. "Well you did invite me" I say with a laugh and she just shakes her head and nods "Well is it so surprising that I wanted to see you again?" she says and I'm a little confused its been well over a year but then I realize she's flirting and I can't help but smile back "No not really and to be honest when I saw that you invited me I kinda wanted to see you again too" I say with a slight wink and she just laughs and punches my shoulder which should hurt but I just don't want her to stop touching me. A sudden "eh hem!" breaks our contact and I look over to Finn with his grin on. Great. "Oh Lea this is my partner Finn and roommate" I say and he sticks out his rather large hand to shake her petite one, I notice a pained look on her face which confuses me "So you two are like? Dating" she asks and I can't help but laugh and neither can Finn, we laugh for a solid 5 minutes "No No! me and Finn? No way I'm gay and he's straight" I say with a laugh and I can sense the relief in her smile. Weird. Again. "Yeah me and Lopez would never work out we fight like cats and dogs but I do love her" he says with a warm smile and I can't help but giggle "Ditto he's like the big brother I've always wanted" I explain. Lea nods her head and laughs to probably realizing that Finn and I would never work out in a million years. I look at her up and down and I notice how gorgeous she really is. Really she gives me chills "you look beautiful" I say and I didn't even realize I said it until I see a blush creep up on her face "thanks, you look stunning but I'm sure you knew that" she says and now its my turn to blush. I'm about to make a flirty comment until the lights in the theatre go down and I notice it's time for the show, during the entire show Will seriously kills it but I didn't even notice him half the time cause I was too pre-occupied with my arm brushing up against Lea's. It sent me chills like good chills and I couldn't help but smile the entire show. After the show was over I'm about to stand up when Lea grabs my arm "did you want to come backstage? I'm sure Will would love to see you again?" she says and I can't help but smile "sure I would love to Finn?" I say looking at him he gives me a slight smirk "Nah I'm dead tired Lopez I'm going to go home I'll see you later okay?" he says I can tell exactly what he's doing. "Uh okay I guess I'll see you at home" I say as he waves goodbye to Lea and I, suddenly I'm being pulled away from the rows and through a door that reads 'backstage' we come to a stop as Lea looks around. I give her a perplexed look "what are you doing?" I ask her in a slight whisper she just shrugs and starts pulling me again "Finding Will" she says and then I realize something isn't Will her boyfriend? "Hey Lea?" I say getting her attention she stops and looks back at me with her brows furrowed urging me to continue "Aren't you and Will dating?" I ask not being able to handle it anymore. She just smiles and shakes her head I don't know why but I'm happy to hear that "we broke up last year he left me for a sophomore but it's totally okay we stayed really good friends" she says with a smile and I can't help but smile back. As we reach the end of the stage we see Will grasping a drink talking to a much seemingly younger girl, when he sees us he stops talking to her and walks straight for us "Lea sweety how are you?" he says while kissing both of her cheeks "Just swell darling you did amazing tonight" she says in a very theatrical way. Will just smiles and turns his attention to me "Santana Lopez nice to see you again I heard you were running the Indy department at Jones Records?" he asks sticking his hand out to me I shake it and smile at his tone "Yes I am me and my partner Finn are actually" I say a little boastful but Will admires it and smiles "That's fantastic! How's that going?" he asks and I decide to be honest with him "Great, better than ever we signed this artist recently but she said if I don't have a new song for her ready to go in 6 months she's leaving the label" I say a little upset. Will just shakes his head "That's just awful damn Diva's" he says but then a sudden light shines over him "Lea! Why don't you write Santana her song for this artist I know you've been working on some songs!" he says with almost fake enthusiasm. Lea smiles at me and I can't help but smile back I nod at her "I would love if you could write the song" I say with a huge grin, she just smiles bashfully "really? You would?" she says. "Of course! Why don't we meet up tomorrow and you can show me some of your material you are on Broadway" I say and I didn't even think her smile could grow that much "Okay how bout 8? At the 'Coffee Bar'?" she says and I nod "It's a date" I say without thinking and she just blushes and giggles. I can't help but giggle at her I haven't felt this way in a long time not since Dianna that is, "Well it has been nice talking to you Miss. Lopez I'm sure I'll be seeing you around" Will says snapping me out of my Lea gaze. "Yes definitely see you around" I say and with that Will walks off. I look back at Lea who still has that wide grin. As we walk off into the night air I offer to walk her home, which is only a few blocks away, she nods and we walk in silence for awhile. "So" she starts breaking our comfortable silence "How are you and Dianna?" she asks and I tense up a bit "Um we broke up a year ago" I say and she looks shocked "Oh! I-I'm so sorry Santana I didn't know" she says I just shrug "It was for the best" I smile and soon enough she smiles back even bigger. When we get to her apartment she stops in front of her door "Well I had fun I like spending time with you San" she says while rubbing her hand on my arm which feels really soothing "Yeah me too I'll see you tomorrow then right? To discuss the song?" I smile, she just smiles again and nods "Absolutely" I give her a small peck on the cheek and I can tell she's blushing as she walks into her apartment. I leave her building with the biggest grin in the world and for once in about a year I feel happy again. And that's the scary part._

"Yay! Mommy and Lea! You guys sound cute!" Anita exclaims as I watch her reaction "Yes Mija we were very cute but I'm not done yet!" I say and Anita just smiles urging me to continue. I give her a tight-lipped smile and continue…

_Around 8 the next night I show up at the 'Coffee Bar' what an original name, I roll my eyes at the sign and walk in to find a smiling Lea looking at me, I eagerly walk over to her and my smile grows. "Hey" I say as she stands up to give me a hug, I embrace her back and I can feel my smile fade a little. Weird hug. She pulls back "Hey San how are you?" she asks I look at her and I notice how nicely dressed she is for this 'date' if you could call it that "I'm great you look gorgeous" I say and she blushes just like last night. How cute is she. "Thanks" she says and I can feel the silence creep over us but its not awkward "so" she starts "I brought some material for you to look over" she says as she hands me a stack of music sheets. I look over the sheet music for 20 minutes and I can't believe how good they are but to me there's only one that really fits the artist I signed "This one" I start "Is perfect" she looks up from her coffee she ordered while I was reading and smiles "That's my favorite one so far but its not finished but I could definitely finish it by the time its needed" she says and I nod "yeah that sounds perfect 'heartbreaker' that's a great title for the song" I say and she blushes. Again. I look up at her and I see how cute her dimples are when she smiles too much and that instantly makes me smile more. "Hey why don't we go for a walk? I'm tired of work stuff I found the song we'll work out the details later what do you say?" I ask and she frantically nods while standing up. We exit the 'Coffee Bar' and go straight towards the park the silence over us is nice and we really enjoy the night sky and city sounds. I look down to the short brunette to my right and I notice her humming I smile at how musically gifted she is, we come up to a park bench and I run over it and sit down Lea gives me a perplexed look but doesn't sit down next to me "Sing" I ask her and she just becomes more confused "huh?" I smile at her "Sing for me please my own little private show C'mon" I say and she just blushes and nods "Okay I'll sing but then you have to do something for me okay?" she counters and I frantically nod. She takes her place on the path in front of the bench and suddenly the most amazing voice consumes my ears. _

_"When the rain is blowing in your face,_

_and the whole world is on your case,_

_I could offer you a warm embrace to make you feel my love"_

_I immediately know the song, I love Adele and Make you feel my love is a song I've wanted to sing for a while she continues through the chorus and it's the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. She comes to the ending line._

_"To make you feel my love"_

_the song ends and my heart is literally pounding in my chest her voice is so soft and strong at the same time I can't even explain the chills it gives me. She walks slowly to the bench but instead of sitting on it she sits on my lap and wraps her arms around my neck. "Now you have to do something for me" she says and I smile "Anything" I say and she slowly leans in "I want you to…kiss me" and without hesitation I take her lips in mine and I can feel the electricity her tongue swipes across my bottom lip demanding access and I allow it. She deepens the kiss but then she pulls away and presses our foreheads together, my breathing is rather ragged and so is hers the kiss was ONE of the best kisses I've ever gotten there was a lot more feeling then Dianna's but not as much as when I kissed… Brittany. I find it weird after I kissed Lea I immediately thought of Brittany but Brittany is just a friend. Nothing more. Lea breathes in my scent and I can tell she's smiling "That was amazing" she whispers and a smile tugs at my own lips I nod the best I can with her forehead against mine. That was one of the best feelings I've ever had and in that moment I realize I am finally happy again for the first time in a year but the reason for my previous unhappiness wasn't from my break up with Dianna which is weird it was from the void in my chest that no one could fill… Brittany._

"Mom! You and Lea are seriously so cute!" Anita yells as I try to shush her because it is 12am after all. I didn't realize how fast time was going as I told the story "Yes I know baby" I say a little exhausted Anita just smiles at me "Yeah but I think I like you and Britt-Britt better" she says and I jolt up shocked "What makes you say that?" I ask a little confused "Because you guys sound like soul mates best friends that fall in love!" she says with even more excitement my eyebrows furrow as I realize what she means I just shrug it off though cause I don't want to show what she's saying is really making me think. "Okay so can I continue now?" I ask and she just nods. "Okay so about 5 months later…"

_I'm sitting in Ms. Jones' office with Finn for what seems like an hour, Ms. Jones never calls us into her office anymore unless its something serious. She walks in with a very stern look on her face, which really worries me "So you guys how's that song coming for Sugar?" she asks, Sugar is the hottest new Indy artist I signed a couple months back Lea's been working on her song for some time now but we've been so pre occupied with other things we must have made it slip. Lea and I have been dating for 5 months now and its safe to say I'm in love she makes me feel so much better than Dianna ever did. I zone out thinking about Lea and forgetting Ms. Jones question I quickly snap out of it "Oh its coming along it should be done in about 2 weeks" I say but in all honesty I don't know exactly when it will be done. Ms. Jones perks up a bit and smiles "Okay good I was getting worried and Sugar has been really demanding she will be happy to hear it" she says and with that we are dismissed from her office, Finn gives me a slight smirk and grabs my arm "Is it really going to be done in 2 weeks? Cause if its not were done here Sugar is the only thing we got going for us right now and if that songs not done and she leaves were fired" he says with a slight edge in his voice "Calm your shit Finnocence it will get done my girls got it" I say with a small wink, Finn breathes in a sigh of relief "Okay good I'm gonna head home I'll see you soon" he says and with that he's out the door. Lea and I are meeting for dinner to discuss the song I quickly grab my bags from my office as I'm just about to walk out of the building my phone rings. Unknown Caller. I suddenly get really suspicious "hello?" I say with a little confusion "Ms. Lopez? I have a secret about you and I'm going to tell everyone" the muffled voice replies I get a little nervous secret? What secret? "Oh really now? And what might that be?" I counter "You know what it is but you can easily find me" the voice says, I slowly walk into the lobby looking around to see if the person I'm talking to is around. "I'm very close by your warm" the voice continues and I take a few steps forward "Super warm" I smile cause I think I know who it is "Hot, hot" and I look up too see what I have been looking forward to for 2 years "Hot your so hot!" the voice says and I instantly feel like the happiest person in the world. I see the Blonde push her way through the crowd to me and embrace me in a hug "Brittany!" I scream lifting her off the ground and twirling her "Santana! I've missed you so much!" she says and I can't wipe the stupid grin from my face. I put her down and her perfect blue eyes are sparkling "I have so much to tell you!" she says and I can't help but grin even more. We walk outside and she begins to talk about some guy but I'm to pre occupied with my thoughts to listen but I do anyway "So his name is Jared and were dancing and I feel like I'm the happiest girl in the world but something is missing" she starts and I nod my head to make sure she knows that I'm listening "Then when he tries to kiss me I jolt back because I realize I can't kiss him, I-I can't kiss him because-" she gets cut off when she notices where we are. "San why are we at a jewelry store?" she asks with a slight frown "You'll see" I say holding the door open for her she giggles a bit we walk in and I hand the man a blue slip he nods and goes to the backroom to retrieve my order. "Continue your story" I say and she quickly nods "Anyway Jared he tried to kiss me but I couldn't because there was something missing and I realized that something missing was something here I-I shouldn't have left-" she says but is once again cut off this time by the jeweler "Here you go Ms. Lopez I hope she says yes" I smile and nod as I grab the 18kt gold diamond ring, Brittany just stares at it in disbelief and the pained look on her face tells me something. "I-I'm proposing" I say and I can tell Brittany is upset, suddenly she storms out of the jewelry shop and I chase after her "Britt!" I scream and she stops right on the spot "You didn't think to tell me you were this serious about someone?!" she yells and I feel a pang of guilt "I told you I was dating someone-" I say but she cuts me off "You didn't say you were deeply in love and ready to propose!" she says. I frown at how hurt she seems to be that I didn't tell her I was in love, truth be told I don't know why I never told her "I-I'm sorry Britt I thought you would be happy for me?" I say and Brittany takes in a small breath and a smile tugs at her lips "Of course I'm happy for you San your-you're my best friend come here" she says as she opens her arms for a hug. I can see the pained look on her face and I feel so guilty for not telling her but for some reason I know it goes way deeper than not telling her I just don't know why I choose to ignore it._

"Oh. My. God mommy! Brittany came back to tell you she's in love with you! But you were going to marry someone else! Mommy no!" Anita cries as I pause the story because just like it hits Anita it hits me like a ton of bricks did she really love me then? is that what she wanted to tell me? I shake the thought off "Yeah I guess she did" I say a little skeptical. "Okay mommy seriously your love story is messy!" she says with a giggle and I can't help but smile and nod "Your so right Mija" I say and she nods at me to continue…

_After Britt and I discussed her tour and my life I told her all about Lea somehow thinking it would fix everything that happened before and it does she smiles and gets all excited about how in love I am but there's apart of me that thinks its fake which I think is weird. She's my best friend shouldn't she be happy for me? I'm so confused right now and then I notice the nagging feeling is back. What. The. Fuck. I shake it off best I can before I see Lea smiling and giggly as ever "Hey babe!" she says and I give her a chaste kiss to the lips "Hey sorry for being late I ran into someone" I say and she just nods her head "Its alright I ordered for us anyway" she smiles and I can't help but think her smile is infectious I wouldn't mind waking up to that everyday. As the night passes we discuss anything but the song for about 2 hours I avoid it but I eventually woman up and ask "Hey hun how's that song coming I'm really going to need that soon?" I ask and her smile instantly vanishes "Actually I've been meaning to talk to you about that" she says and I become instantly worried "I sold it to another company" she says and my heart stops "What?!" I say completely shocked and mortified "Well I went to see Will the other day because I ended up getting 2 offers for the song and I really needed advice and he asked me if I wanted to further my career or not so I based my decision off of that" she explains and my jaw literally drops "Lea I can't believe- I-I trusted you with this we won't survive this loss!" I say and I can see the tears well up in her eyes "Babe I'm sure the Indy department will be fine-" she says but I cut her off "No not the Indy department I meant us" I say shortly as a tear escapes my eye. She looks like I told her, Broadway is dead "You listened to Will and instead of helping your girlfriend you decided to listen to your ex-boyfriend? What is that? Its clear you still love him!" I say realizing I'm shouting now. Lea doesn't reply she just looks at her hands I scoff "You do still love him don't you?" I say in utter disbelief "well I hope you are very happy with him" I say and get up to leave. I feel her hand around my arm "Please San! I love you I just I don't know what I was thinking" she says and I rip my arm away "no you obviously didn't" I shout and I leave her in the restaurant. I walk out onto the sidewalk and I feel the cold air hit me like a ton of bricks, I decide walking is the best think for me right now I stick my hands in my pockets and my hand hits a hard object. The box. As I feel my hands tighten around the box I feel the tears pooling out of my eyes "Fuck" I mutter as I grab the box and I throw it in the sewer along with my job, my best friend, my life. _

"Wow nothing ever does work out for you" Anita says with a pout as she crosses off Lea from her notebook. I let out a content sigh who knew telling this story would be so hard? "I know baby I know" I say giving her a re-assuring nod. She just pouts more and engulfs me in a hug "I'm sorry mommy" she says and I feel my heart clench "Mija please don't" I start "That was for the best too I loved Lea I really did but just like Dianna it wasn't happening" I said and she pulls out of the hug and nods. "did she break it?" she asks and I give her a confused look "break what hun?" I ask "Your heart?" I just nod and Anita frowns. After about 5 minutes of frowning she smiles again "Okay mommy lets continue" she says and I do without hesitaion…


	5. Chapter 5

Authors Note: Hey guys so here's chapter 5 this is seriously my favorite chapter I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Okay please read and review! Enjoy Chapter 5.

Chapter 5- _Second chances?_

_November 2005 New York_

_Finn and I are standing in Ms. Jones' office again preparing to tell her the news of the nowhere to be heard song we pace back and forth in complete and utter silence. Since I told Finn what happened yesterday night with Lea the only thing he said to me was 'you really messed up Lopez' and I couldn't help but get mad at him how was I supposed to know someone I love was going to do that? Someone I trusted? Someone who I thought I could spend forever with. I told him just that but he didn't respond he just locked himself in his room and the next morning he still hadn't said a word, I have already lost Lea and Britt I can't lose Finn too we've been in this together for almost 2 years. Finn's just glaring at me at this point and it's really starting to irk me realizing I can't take his glare I decide to speak up "Would you stop glaring Finnocence! I know I messed up you don't have to try to burn holes in my head!" I yell but he doesn't make a move to change his face. I just give up and take a seat in the chair across from Ms. Jones' desk suddenly we hear Ms. Jones herself and we both jump "Hey honeys! So what's the deal? Why the urgent call?" she asks and Finn and I just stare at each other not knowing who should speak first. I decide to end the awkward silence "Well Ms. Jones I uh I wanted to inform you that I-I lost the contract for the song to another label…we don't have a song anymore" I explain and Ms. Jones' face literally falls, she takes in a sharp breath before speaking "San, Finn I'm going to have to ask you to pack your belongings… I'm so sorry guys but without Sugar the Indy department won't survive" the tears behind my eyes are starting to well up I look to Finn but he refuses to look at me so he looks at his tie instead. "Ms. Jones I-It was my fault please don't fire Finn" I try but Ms. Jones just shakes her head "I'm sorry Hun but you guys are partners that means in it together if one of you screws up you both do I'm sorry guys but please leave" she says and I can tell it hurts her just as much as it hurts us. Finn and I both nod and we get up to leave, Finn walks up to his office and slams the door. Hard. I enter mine and I decide to just pack my shit up and go home to sleep, as I pack my stuff I hear a knock at the door hoping its Finn I run to open it but I'm greeted by someone a little blonder. "Hey" she says and I try my best to keep my breathing in check "Hi Britt" she walks in and closes the door behind her and takes a seat we sit there in awkward silence for what feels like forever. "Listen" she starts "I'm so sorry about yesterday snapping at you I-I shouldn't have done that truth be told I'm really happy for you" she smiles but then I realize I hadn't told her me and Lea broke up. "Britt don't be sorry I should have told you but that doesn't even matter anymore I-I broke up with her" I try to explain but I can feel my throat cracking. She takes in a deep breath and I think she's trying to seem sad but in reality she's happy this makes me kind of angry why is she happy? I'm literally heartbroken and she's happy? She's supposed to be my best friend. "I-I'm so sorry San" she tries to sound sincere but it just comes out flat and it causes me to snap. "No your not Britt, your happy its over, your happy that I broke up with her! Don't lie! I know you are! I just don't know why your so damn happy were supposed to be best friends and I'm utterly heartbroken!" I yell while tears start pouring down my face. She seems a little taken back but she knows I'm right "San there's a reason why I'm not upset! I mean I'm upset that she hurt you I really am! Seeing you hurt is the last thing I would ever wish for on this planet but I'm not upset your relationship is over!" she explains but that just fuels my anger "some best friend you are" her face literally falls at my words and I can see tears starting to form. "I can't do this San… you don't understand! And I don't know how to explain it!" she yells but I literally don't understand what she's saying "Then leave Britt! You obviously never cared about me! Just go!" I yell but it doesn't sound nearly as threatening as I wanted it to. She gets up and is about to walk out the door but she pauses "San I-I can't work here while you're here it will just hurt too much" she says and I can't help but scoff "Don't worry about it I got fired, now will you leave!" I snap and her face becomes even more sad I can see the tears now pouring from her eyes and I instantly feel like crap but I can't have someone in my life that doesn't support the people or things I love whatever there reason might be. She steps out and slams the door I immediately sink back into my chair and I just sit there for hours, by 10pm I realize I should probably grab my stuff and leave. I slowly get up from the chair and grab the box with my stuff and exit my office I make my way through the lobby and out the door I realize I have no energy to walk home so I hail a taxi and decide to hop in. When I reach the apartment building I slowly get out and gather my things the feeling in my chest is literally the most painful thing I've ever experienced but it's not from losing my job its from Britt I don't know why I'm so upset I just am. Britt was my best friend and the way I yelled at her wasn't right but there's something more behind what I'm feeling in between all the laughs and stories, the butterflies and sweaty palms something must have been so much deeper but what? Confused as ever I make my way to my apartment I struggle with my keys a bit but I manage to get it open. When I get inside its just way to quiet I drop my bags and set my keys down on the table next to the door I walk through the apartment and into the kitchen when I notice a small note taped to the fridge I pick it up and quickly look it over and I realize its from Finn._

_San,_

_I'm sorry I couldn't be there to tell you in person or say goodbye in person but I decided it was best to move out. I don't think I could handle looking at you everyday knowing that our partnership is over because of some girl you messed up with but for that I'm sorry. It may seem like I'm being selfish but its better this way… for both of us. I'm sorry about everything though Lea, Britt everything and I will always be your friend. Maybe after this dies down a bit we can be friends again but for now I feel like this is better. I love you San you were my first real friend I've had in years I will miss you._

_Love, _

_Finnocence._

_I re-read the note over and over again until I can't keep my eyes open anymore not only did I lose one friend today but I lost another. Nothing seems to be going right for me. I lost my job, my girlfriend, my best friends how could anyone possibly screw up this much? Obviously Santana Lopez can._

"Mommy! You dummy!" Anita yells and I know I'm in deep shit now, "mom! Britt-Britt was upset your relationship was over because she was in love with you! But you cut her short and she never got to tell you!" she cries and I realize the truth behind her words. Shit. Britt did love me back then! Why was I so stupid! "Anita I see that now" I say but she just shakes her head. "what about Finn mommy! He was one of your best friends! I really liked him!" she cries and I don't know what else to say at this point. I just shrug and nod "He was but hun I'm not done! Things will start too look up" she just shakes her head even more. What baffles me the most is how smart she is, she basically figured out something I've been trying to figure out for 13 years in one hour. She figured out that Brittany did love me something I didn't even realize until now. Wow. "Anita do you want me to continue?" I ask and she just nods "Okay so things start do look up but not until a year later…"

_November 2006 New York_

_I'm sitting in my kitchen preparing dinner for Kurt and I, It's been one year since Kurt decided to come and live in New York with me. He currently works for and I couldn't be anymore proud of him he's worked hard for what he has. Kurt only decided to move here in the first place though to keep me company cause he knew how miserable I was after I told him everything on the phone, He literally took the next flight out and moved in that's what I love about Kurt he's always been there for me no matter what. "Sannnnnn!" I hear as I put the chicken in the oven "Kuuuurrrrttt!" I yell back and I see his happy go lucky face peer around the corner, "Hey whatcha makin?" he asks and I wonder what's got him so chipper "Just chicken what's with the grin?" he just laughs and waves his hand in the air like he's trying to show me something. Then I notice the ring on his finger. Holy Shit. My face lights up like a Christmas tree at the ring "KURT IS THAT A RING!" I cry grabbing his hand in mine he just frantically nods and he can't make words "Blaine proposed! And I said yes!" he cries and I can't help but feel overwhelmingly happy. Blaine and Kurt have been off again on again since high school but over the past 3 years Blaine has really been outstanding his Broadway career is just taking off and he really treats Kurt well but I think that's because I kept threatening him. Kurt's smile doesn't fade "Congrats Kurt! Oh my God the gel monster did it!" I yell Kurt smiles and laughs I can't help but do the same. I remove my hand from his ring and rush to the cabinet for 2 wine glasses and of course the wine "We must celebrate!" I yell and he can't even speak I pour each of us a glass and we toast "To you Kurt may you find true happiness with Blaine" I say with the biggest smile and Kurt turns to me "To always believing in second chances cause without them I would have never found 'the one'" he says and something about that statement hits a chord with me. We toast and drink wine all night as I hang on to every word he says about how Blaine proposed and I have to say it was pretty darn cute! Blaine proposed in central park in the middle on a giant heart that said 'will you marry me' a little large for my taste but still cute. After our 3 hour conversation is over we each decide to hit our beds, when I get to my room I notice how extremely tired I am I don't even bother changing out of my work clothes and just hop into bed. Ugh work. Ever since I got a new job at 'Pimpin Records' the second biggest record company in New York I may add I have been non-stop busy but whatever it's a job and pretty good one at that being head of the R&B section is a lot of work. I cuddle up into my bed and I can't help but feel something missing hearing about Kurt's engagement and thinking about my passed failed attempts really has me depressed all of a sudden and that insanely nagging feeling is back again worse than it ever was. _

_I wake up the next morning to the sound of my alarm well what I think is my alarm but it isn't it's a ring tone, its 'songbird' I jolt out of bed to make sure I'm not imagining this but I'm definitely not. I run to pick up my phone and answer it the knot in my stomach forms and my palms are sweatier than ever "Hello?" I say extra hoarse from just waking up and being extremely nervous "Santana?" I hear and my heart flutters at the sound of her voice, the lump in my throat grows bigger and I can't get anything out "B-Britt?" I hear a laugh on the other end and I become confused "Yeah its you how are you?" she asks and I smile. It's been a year since me and Brittany had any communication since our big fight I didn't realize how much I missed her until now "I'm great how are you?" I can hear her smile from here as she giggles "Just really missing you" I smile at her words and my heart feels like its going to bust "I really miss you too Britt I-I didn't like what happened between us I mean you were my best friend" I say and I can hear her take in a long breath "I know San but I was being selfish and I'm sorry but hey listen! I was wondering if you wanted to meet up for dinner? Around 8?" she asks and I jump at the opportunity "yes absolutely we have a lot to discuss" I say with a slight giggle and I feel the smile tug on my lips. "Okay great tonight at 8 I'll see you then" she says and with that we say our 'goodbyes' I really did miss her like a lot I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulder I finally have Britt back in my life. Well almost I hope after tonight she will be. I realize the time and I decide to get dressed for work for the whole day I swear my grin never faded. _

_As I walk through the night air my smile still hasn't faltered since hearing Britt's voice damn I never realized how much I think about her until now, everything about her, her smile, her eyes, her hair everything especially the way she makes me feel like I can do anything. I never really understood the feeling she gave me and maybe tonight I can fully grasp it. I walk into the dimly lit restaurant and I can see her sparkling blue eyes from here and my heart literally bangs against my rib cage. She looks up and she stands up to hug me "San! I missed you so much!" she says and I embrace her, we stand there for what feels like 10 minutes until we pull apart and I immediately miss her warmth "Britt you look great" she smiles bashfully and I can see a slight blush creep up on her face. I notice what she's wearing and I take it in she's wearing a high waisted skirt with a light blue top that really makes her eyes pop which I love and her hair is flowing over her shoulders. Damn she's beautiful. "Thanks San" she says and we take our seats across from each other. For the longest time we just stare into each others eyes waiting for the other to speak, she finally breaks the silence "San before we start I just wanted to say I'm so sorry about our fight I mean I was being really selfish I should have been there for you I'm so sorry" I smile at her apology "Britt it's okay I understand now I shouldn't have snapped at you a true friend doesn't do that I'm sorry" I say reaching for her hand across the table and she lets me take it, she smiles bashfully at my gesture and I can't help but feel so much warmth. "But enough about that, that's the past lets talk about now what have you been doing?" I ask with genuine excitement, her face lights up I love it when it does that "Oh! Great things San! After my tour with Beyonce Ms. Jones made me head Choreographer!" she shrieks and I can't help but be insanely proud of her. "Oh my god Britt that's amazing I'm so proud of you!" she just shakes her head bashfully "Thanks San really it means a lot to hear that but enough about me what about you?" she asks and I become extremely excited "Well after I left Jones records I was offered a job at Pimpin Records as head of the R&B department and I've been working there for about a year now" her face lights up so much as she jumps to hug me. I love her hugs. "Oh my God San! That's amazing! Look at us were both living our dreams!" she says and I can't help but smile "Thanks Britt and yeah I guess we are" we both giggle as we break from the hug. About an hour goes by with both of us sharing our stories about the past year giggling and laughing, it feels like nothings changed between us. Nothing especially the feelings she gives me. We come to the topic of Kurt's engagement and we both laugh at how cheesy the proposal was but insanely cute this is when I realize we haven't talked about relationships and I think she does too "So San are you seeing anyone?" she asks. I become really nervous all of a sudden I don't know why I just do and my heart is literally pounding "Well no I'm not since my track record isn't exactly the best I decided to take a break so its been about a year" I say and she just smiles and nods "What about you?" I mention and suddenly she becomes a bit tense which automatically makes me nervous. "Actually yeah I-I am his name is Sam" she says and the smile I've maintained all day suddenly vanishes in a blink of an eye and I can feel my heart sink into my stomach "Oh when-when did that happen?" I ask with genuine curiosity "About 5 months ago he's really special to me" she says and the sinking feeling only intensifies. We sit there for a while in silence until I decide to break it "Well I'm happy for you" I smile trying to muster up as much enthusiasm as possible while I'm feeling like someone ran over my heart. She just nods "Thanks San" she says and I can tell her voice is a little un even herself and I feel like she wants to say something, silence takes over again as we start to discuss work the smiles return just as quickly as they left but that nagging feeling just won't let up in the back of my head. The night is almost over as we walk out onto the streets "This was really fun San I really missed this! Lets hang out again soon please? I also wanna talk to you about your birthday plans" she says I just shake my head "Of course we'll hang out again Britt! But my birthday isn't for another 2 months" I laugh a bit but she just becomes dead serious "I don't care I need to plan the best night ever! Okay?" she exclaims and I just nod "Okay, okay Britt we can discuss planning it" I say with a rather large grin. We stand outside for a bit looking into each others eyes. Again getting lost in thoughts I can tell she wants to say something but I don't know what "Well I better go San I'll see you soon?" she says a little worn down and bummed, I give her a confused look "Yeah of course Britt I'll see you real soon!" she engulfs me in a hug and its extra long that when she pull away I instantly want more. We say our goodbyes and I feel like we left something unsaid the nagging feeling is back and the fact that Britt is dating someone 'special' irritates me why? I walk back to my apartment as I contemplate my feelings what is going on? I always feel happy around her, I get upset when she dates someone new, I instantly want her to hug me or hold me more after a hug what's this feeling? I try to calculate as much as I can as I get to my apartment but I still can't put the pieces together so I decide to get Kurt to help me. "Kurt!" I yell and I await his response but I don't get one I get a stumble out of his room in complete shock "WHAT SAN!" he yells holding a bat "Porcelain calm down no ones robbing us I need your help with something serious!" I explain and he instantly puts the bat down "Oh thank God okay sit down what's up hun?" as he gestures to the couch. We both sit on one end facing each other, he nods his head as to urge me to talk "Kurt I-I keep having these re-occurring feelings for Brittany and I have no clue what they mean?" he just smirks and arches his eyebrow "Okay tell me some of these 'feelings'" he says using air quotes and I can't help but laugh "Well tonight she told me she's been dating someone for 5 months and that really made me mad also whenever she hugs me I instantly miss her warmth and I think 'how did I last a year without those amazing hugs?' and all these feelings come rushing back but I don't know what feelings they are! They make me feel tingly and good like I can take on anything I want! She makes me feel like I'm unstoppable also I find everything about her perfect like everything I don't know what I'm feeling Kurt!" I explain with a sign and I put my head in my hands. I raise my head when I hear him laugh and smirk "What are you laughing at lady?!" I yell he just shakes his head "San you wanna know what I think?" he asks and I frantically nod "Yes! Help me Kurt! I don't know what this is-" he cuts me off "San its so obvious" he explains and my brows furrow with confusion "what?" he shakes his head and laughs even more "Santana, you're in love with Brittany" he says and suddenly every feeling, every unexplained encounter, every raging heart beat makes sense and the nagging feeling vanishes. I'm in love with Brittany._

"Okay hold up!" Anita yells as I pause the story for dramatic affect. "So can I just get this straight?" she asks and I nod my head "so you loved Dianna at one point but she broke up with you because she slept with Puck than you dated Lea and you broke up with her because she still loved Will then Brittany tries to tell you she loves you but you cut her short than a year later you realize you love Britt but she loves Sam! And nobody loves you" she says like it's the simplest thing I just nod, her statement is 100% correct except for the fact that before I didn't realize Britt loved me! My daughter figured it out before I did like what is this? "your one hundred percent right Anita I was clearly dumb" I explain and she doesn't even argue the fact she just nods "Okay mommy by the way this story is going it doesn't sound like there will be a happy ending" she says with a pout and I just shake my head "Trust me Mija there's a happy ending now let me continue…"

_January 2007 New York_

_Its probably been around 2 months since I checked the messages on my answering machine and there's about 15 of them but I don't really care to answer except for the 2 from Brittany and both of them are about my birthday. Its also been about 2 months since I realized I'm in love with her but Britt is still seeing Sam so I can't do anything at this point and I guess you could say I'm in a bit of a slump, Kurt is insanely worried about me even though I constantly tell him I'm fine just tired. Kurt constantly says I need fresh air but I argue the fact that I do get fresh air I hang out with Brittany as much as possible now and she couldn't be happier she tries to constantly help plan my birthday but I tell her she can do it I don't need to put input I trust her enough. Britt agrees cause she loves to do that stuff but I'm sure Kurt has horned in on it and there both planning it which explains why he wasn't here when I got home, I'm currently lying in bed tired from a long days work on a Friday night when did I get so old? I decide I need to get up and do something so I check the boring ass messages I have on the machine. The first one is from my mom I listen to it and its just the basic I miss you call me back the rest are either from a telemarketer or some credit company, but when I get to the last one it intrigues me a bit because its from Dianna… I decide to listen to it "Hey San its Dianna! I'm in town for awhile and I wanted to know if you wanted to maybe catch up my number is-" I cut it off after that because I really don't want to know it. I erase all the messages including the one from Dianna and I climb back in my bed. Why would she call me? Seriously? I don't need that shit right now as soon as I get comfortable in my bed a sudden knock gets my attention "Ugh coming!" I yell, I get up really slowly with the blanket wrapped around my body and run to the door. I open the door and I see Brittany's smiling face but its soon followed by a confused look "Is that what your wearing to your birthday?" she asks and a pang of guilt and confusion takes over "Britt! That's tonight!" I yell and she pouts with a nod. I hate that damn pout. "Give me 10 minutes!" I yell and run to my room to get dressed and do my makeup, it takes me about 5 minutes to pick the dress and boots I'm going to wear I lightly coat my face in a layer of makeup and quickly get dressed. I come out of my room and Britt is tapping her foot with her arms crossed over her chest shaking her head, "Sorry Britt! I didn't realize what day it was!" I yell while putting my shoes on "You forgot your own birthday San? What is that?" she giggles and I can't help but giggle to I would forget my birthday. I run out of the apartment and we walk down the street in silence, we walk for about 10 minutes when I realize I don't know where were going "Britt um where exactly are we going?" I ask and she pipes up "The Bar!" she says and I instantly get excited yay! Drinking just what I need. We get to the bar and there's a large banner that reads 'happy birthday Satan' definitely Kurt's idea I giggle as I enter the bar and I'm greeted by 30 smiling faces and gleaming eyes. Kurt and Blaine are the first I see and they both engulf me in a hug "Happy birthday Santana!" Blaine says while holding Kurt's waist which I think is adorable. Kurt's next as he practically jumps me "Happy birthday Satan! You like the sign?" he asks and I nod "Oh yeah Kurt it's the best part" I joke and we all laugh, Brittany then comes up beside me and takes my hand "I have a surprise for you" she says and I instantly perk up. She drags me too a group of my old work colleagues' from Jones Records and I spot Mercedes "Girl! Happy birthday!" she yells and engulfs me in a hug and I can't help the smile that floods my face, Mercedes and I remained friends after she had to Fire Finn and I speaking of Finn I suddenly see a large awkward man and a whole new grin takes its place on my face. "Finn!" I yell and he smiles his 'Finn Grin' god I've missed that smile! "San! Happy birthday I've missed you so much!" he says and I engulf him in a hug and we just stand there for awhile taking each other in. Its been a little over a year since I've seen him and I really missed him, we get to talking about work and what he's doing turns out he gave up on the whole record thing and now he runs a mechanic shop in Brooklyn which if you ask me is more his style. We smile and talk practically the whole time we giggle and reminisce in our partner years, suddenly a silence takes over us after all the laughing he nudges my shoulder to get my attention "Hey she's really pretty are you dating?" he asks pointing to Brittany and my heart sinks a little I just shake my head "No, she's just a really good friend" I say with a hint of pain which of course Finn picks up on right away "But you want to right?" he asks. I still find it scary how he could always read me like that I nod my head and he smirks "What's stopping you Lopez?" he giggles and I hit him in the arm "She's dating some guy named Sam never met him" I explain and he just nods his head "Well that shouldn't stop you the way you look at her you'd think you were in love" he says and I immediately snap my head up to him and give him a glare, "Oh shit Lopez! You do love her!" he exclaims a little too loud "Shut up Finnocence! So what! Its not like I can do anything she loves Sam" I say but he just laughs and shakes his head "I don't know San I mean she looks at you the same way you look at her" he says and I can't help but feel a sense of hope. I look to where Brittany is standing and how beautiful she is not just in looks but as a person too she did all of this for me no one would do this for me except for maybe Kurt. She seems so happy and alive but I feel a pang of heart ache when I realize I'm not the reason behind her smile Sam is, realizing I can't sit here any longer I grab a bottle of tequila and a brown bag and I run out of the bar and into the night air. I run all the way to Brittany's building which is only 5 minutes away and I decide to take refuge outside her apartment. I sit there in udder silence for about half an hour thinking I can't believe I love her that I waited this long to realize it when I could have been the reason behind her smile now instead of Sam ugh I officially hate that name. After drinking for what feels like an hour I feel my head getting extremely light and now I know I'm drunk I see a tall blonde figure coming toward me from the end of the block and I don't even need to be sober to make out who that is. Brittany comes into my view and just shakes her head "You missed your cake San and I baked it" she says and I just laugh "I'm so so so sorry Brit-Britt I'll make it up to you" I say while sipping my tequila. She takes a seat next to me and she takes the tequila and takes a sip, "You know" she starts "I don't know why you do this to yourself its silly" she says with a giggle and I just shrug. I look to my right and I see her beautiful blue eyes staring back into my brown and I realize with the help of some liquid courage that now's the time to tell her. "You know" I start this time "I-I just realized that I'm insanely and utterly in love with you and I can't do anything about it because you love 'Sam'" I say with a slight slur hoping she'll understand and by the expression on her face she does. "Your-Your in love with me?" she asks and I nod "Yeah isn't it obvious? Everyone sees it but it took me like 2 years to realize so I can understand why you didn't" I say and I can see the look on her face is a little hurt "What's that supposed to mean?" she asks I look at her and word vomit takes over "Well Britt your not exactly the sharpest knife in the bunch now are you?" I say and I immediately regret it as she stands up and slaps me. "If this is how you love someone I wonder what you would do if you hate someone" she says with a voice crack as tears pool down from her beautiful blue eyes she turns around and goes to open her building door "And get off my porch" she yells and slams the door. I watch her run up the stairs and I know I shouldn't have done that I could easily blame the alcohol but I know myself it was just me being a complete asshole and taking out my pent up feelings against her realizing I can't have her so I take my anger out on her. I smash the bottle against the porch and I get up to leave, I run home and it takes me about 10 minutes, when I get home I see Kurt waiting for me on the couch "San! Where have you been!" he yell and I run up to him and hug him "I-I screwed up again Kurt I-I took out my anger on her again and I lost her again! Why do I hurt her all the time! I love her I shouldn't be doing this to her!" I yell and Kurt just coos "San its okay we'll fix this okay you won't lose her again" he says. I just shake my head "No Kurt I messed up royally she will never ever be friends with me and on top of that before I took my anger out on her I told her I loved her and she-she didn't even say anything back!" I yell and Kurt just rubs my back and I collapse in his arms. I pull us both to the ground and I begin to cry uncontrollably in his arms I shake and cry and Kurt just sooths me. What have I done?_

"MOM! ARE YOU KIDDING ME! NOT AGAIN!" Anita yells and I shush her realizing its well-passed midnight now "Anita! Stop yelling! I know I messed up again!" I yell back and Anita calms down a bit but she just shoves her face in her pillows "I can't believe you mommy! You hurt Britt-Britt again! She loves you why couldn't you see that!" she yells and I realize how upset she is. "Look Mija I'm sorry but I was foolish and young" I explain but she just shakes her head "Mom! This story will never have a happy ending! Either way you divorce mommy!" she yells and I just sooth her as she stuffs her head back in her pillow "Mija there is a happy ending you just have to trust me okay? How about I make us some tea and I continue?" I say and she just nods her head. I leave the bedroom and go to make some tea, as the tea steams I start thinking myself how stupid I was I loved Britt why would I do that? Ugh I can't believe myself! I inwardly beat myself up as I pour the tea in a mug. I pick up the mug and go back to the bedroom but I realize Anita is asleep and I wrap the blanket around her and shut the light. I walk back out into the living room and sit on the couch just thinking about the past I constantly beat myself up for not realizing it sooner like 12, 13 years ago. I sit there in utter silence and suddenly the feeling I haven't felt in year's returns. _The nagging feeling. _

__Authors Note: Alright Guys i know this chapter is a little depressing and i know it seems like Brittana won't work out but i promise you Brittana is endgame just give it some time and stay with this! trust me Santana will come to her senses soon enough and you'll all love the ending trust me! i'm intending this to be about 40,000+ words so stay with me i'm not sure how many chapters but i promise you its totally worth is so please Read and Review! Thanks!


	6. Chapter 6

Authors Note: Hey guys! So I'm on like a writing frenzy and I decided to give you chapter 6 a little earlier than intended but whatever! This chapter should give you some hope in the Brittana aspect but we also find out WHO Anita's mom is! So prepare yourselves! And without further delay chapter 6!

Chapter 6-_ falling in love all over again_

Present time January 2017

I wake up to the sound of tiny feet jumping on my bed as I rub the sleep out of my eyes I see Anita jumping up and down with so much excitement which shocks me because she was so upset last night. She stops jumping when she realizes I'm finally up and giggles "Mommy! Can we finish the story today? But not in here at our bench in the park?" she asks and I give her a nod "Sure Mija that sounds fun why don't you get dressed and we'll go" I tell her and she jolts up and sprints to her room. I use this time to slam back down on my bed and just rest for a couple minutes I didn't realize how much energy that story took out of me not just physically but emotionally. After all these years finally realizing that 13 years ago someone loved you back that you were in love with and you never knew! C'mon what kind of twisted shit, fate crap is this! And to have your daughter figure out to now that's just embarrassing but she is one very smart cookie and that makes me smile. But right now what's irritating me the most is the fact that after all these years _the nagging feeling _is back it shocks me that I still feel this way after all these years. I jolt back up when I hear Anita "Mommy! Get up! I know your lying down!" she cries and I giggle at how smart she is, I get out of bed and put a pair of jeans and a sweater on because its still chilly out there I take the hair out of my pony tail and let it fall on my shoulders. I comb my hair gently letting out the tangles and I hear Anita run in "C'mon mommy! We can get breakfast at the little cart by our bench!" she cries as she tells me the plan and I just nod. People would probably tell me I'm such a push over when it comes to her but her ideas are usually really good, she runs into the kitchen and towards the front door. Her blonde hair is fairly long and I make a mental note to take her for a hair cut later in the week, she's wearing jeans much similar to mine and a vest over her sweater "C'mon mommy! Lets go!" she cries and grabs my hand pushing me out the door. We make it outside and onto the sidewalk she hums a bit while were walking and I can't help but smile, we make it to the park and we see our little food cart. She immediately runs up to it making conversation with Carl "Hey Carl the usual please" I ask and he nods placing 2 bagels in a brown bag and handing me a coffee, I give him the money "Thanks keep the change" I say and he nods with a big grin. I take out half the bagel realizing how hungry I am but Anita quickly stops "No mommy! Wait until we get to our bench!" she cries and I nod with a grumble. We make it to our bench and we sit down on either side and she nods for me to continue the story "okay so where were we…"

_March 2007 New York_

_Kurt and I have been sitting at the dining table with Blaine for solid three hours cutting out invites for his wedding "Kurt my hands are starting to cramp up and I'm starving can I please get us some food" I ask and Kurt scoffs "C'mon San! Were almost done only 150 to go!" he says like its no big deal and I drop the scissors and place my head in my hands. Kurt sighs and realizes we've been sitting here for hours already "Fine Satan go get us some food" he says and I immediately jolt up with joy I run to my room to grab my phone, I pick up my phone 'no missed calls' it reads and a frown takes over my face not that I expect anything from her since I completely took out my anger on her but I still had hope. Its been 2 months since the Britt incident and she still hasn't returned my calls not that I don't blame her I basically called her stupid and I know she's self conscious of that. With a small frown I exit my room and Kurt notices my face and frowns too "still nothing?" he asks and I give him a nod "I don't blame her Kurt I-I hurt her really bad and I don't deserve forgiveness" I say and Kurt's face just saddens more. "Don't say that San everyone deserves second chances" I just shrug "Yeah but this is more of a third, fourth chance for me" I reply giving absolutely no hope to the fact that she'll call me and forgive me "its against all odds" I elaborate and Blaine just nods still remaining silent but him of all people should know about second chances and how important they are. "San she loves you I know she does she'll come around I promise" Kurt says and I just nod not believing a single word "Anyways I'll be back in half an hour and food preferences?" I ask but they both shake there heads and share a pity look between them. I take my keys and walk outside I decide to take an alternate route to the pizza place well more like a scenic route since it takes about 20 minutes longer than it should. I walk passed the book store and the shoe store but something catches my eye when I walk by the record store, In the window lies a Fleetwood Mac Rumors album and I can see a small inscription on the side of the cover. With a sudden jolt of realization I run into the record store and grab it I pick up the album and I read the inscription… _

_To my darling Brittany,_

_Happy Birthday princess I love you so much and I hope this album brings you as much joy as you bring me I hope you learn to appreciate the value in what music can bring and fulfill your dreams of becoming a dancer I love you baby._

_Love, Dad_

_A small smile tugs at my lips as I realize I found it, I found the gift Brittany's dad gave to her before he died! With extreme joy I run to the counter and pay for it. I put it in my purse and I can't believe I found it Britt has been looking for it for years and I found it! It has to mean something! I run out of the record store and onto the city streets I forget all about the food and run back home to show Kurt he's going to freak._

"Mommy! You found it!_" _Anita yells and I can't help but smile and nod "mom! That means something! That means you two are meant to be! you and Britt-Britt for life!" she exclaims and I take in her words and for some reason the way she says it actually makes sense to me. I smile at her "So do you want me to continue?" I ask and she frantically nods "okay so…"

_I get to the apartment and I open the door Kurt and Blaine are still at the table but there eyes are quickly averted to me "San! What's wrong? Where's the food?" he asks and I just shake my head. Shit the food. Whatever bigger matters ahead "Screw the food Kurt I found the album!" I yell and Kurt's eyebrows just furrow in confusion, I pull out the Fleetwood Mac album and his jaw literally drops "YOU FOUND BRITT'S ALBUM?!" he yells and I giggle "Yes! Can you believe it! This has to mean something Kurt! This has to mean that were supposed to be together whether its as friends or more! I don't care it means something!" I scream and Kurt's smile just grows bigger. "I can't believe you found it San she's gonna flip and probably love you more than she already does!" I giggle at his words as hope starts to creep back into my mind but I quickly shake it off trying not to get ahead of myself. "Okay Kurt come help me wrap it I'm gonna give it to her tomorrow after work!" I explain and we go into my room probably leaving Blaine in complete confusion._

_After about 12 sheets of wrapping paper and an explanation to Blaine later were all sitting in the living room going over how I should give the album to Britt "Okay what if you like just show up at her door and present it to her don't say a word until she opens it and when she does and she engulfs you in a hug you tell her how you feel and just put yourself out there" Blaine explains and I don't totally disagree with him. We go over it for awhile longer until we all agree that Blaine's idea is probably the best way to go, after we drink the last bottle of wine we decide its time for bed I say goodnight to my two gays and go straight for my bed and just crash on it. I settle myself into my bed not bothering with my clothes and I start to think about Britt again and how excited she will be tomorrow when I give her the album. Nothing can ruin this I think until finally sleep consumes me._

_The next day at work not even my annoying boss can ruin my day, as my workday comes to an end I eagerly grab my bags and basically sprint for the door. I run down to the lobby and I'm out of the building faster than you can say jesus, I walk down west 8__th__ for about 20 minutes and I find Britt's apartment building a little nervous I walk into it and march up the stairs with a new sense of courage. I arrive at her apartment I take in a deep breath and I knock twice the door immediately flies open and a tall blonde girl is standing before me but its not my tall blonde "Hey San what brings you here?" she asks I just smile "Hey Emily I came by to see Britt is that okay?" I ask and she just nods and waves me in "I haven't heard any of your I'm very sorry messages in awhile San" she says and I can't help but laugh "Yeah I decided that being in person might help my chances" I explain and we both laugh "well she should be home soon I'm just gonna go finish my essay feel free to wait" and with that Emily leaves and turns around the corner. I like Emily she's a good sister to Britt and she's always liked me so I think that's a good thing too considering what I've done to her sister that is. I patiently wait for 10 minutes but a sudden "Hey" breaks me out of my thoughts I look up and on the banister I see a tall Blonde guy with really fat lips "uh hey who are you?" I ask and he just laughs "I'm Sam who are you?" he asks with a smile and wink I can't help but barf a little on the inside. "I'm Santana, wait your Sam, Sam? The guy Britt's been dating?" I ask a little confused I thought they would've broken up by now "Well I assume I'm the Sam she's talking about unless she's collecting Sam's" he says with a laugh and I subtly roll my eyes. Tool. Suddenly the phone rings and I hear Emily "Sam! Get the phone" she yells and I see Sam roll his eyes "well I'm pretty sure I'm the only Sam living with her so I'm pretty sure I'm the one she's talking about" he laughs and I nod my head "It was nice meeting you Santana I'll see you around" he says with a wink and turns away. As soon as he turns away I stick my fingers in my mouth and pretend to gag. Wait did he say live with her? Sam is living with her? I feel the tears slowly well up behind my eyes and I realize I have to get out of here, I grab the door knob and pull it softly not to get anyone's attention I slowly slip out taking the album with me and I run out onto the sidewalk. How could I be so stupid? She never loved me! Kurt was wrong! I can never see her again! I'm so done with this I should just leave her alone! She wants nothing to do with me! I run the rest of the way home and I can't believe I made a complete fool of myself thinking I could just come back into her life like this. I run up the stairs of my apartment building when I run into someone "Shit! I'm so sorry I-" I freeze when the girl looks up and I can't believe my eyes. Lea. "Oh my god! Santana how are you!" she exclaims and I can't help but smile, yeah sure we may have ended on bad terms but it's still nice to see an old face "I'm fine! How are you?" I ask and she just giggles "Well I'm pregnant!" she says and my jaw drops "Wow is Will the lucky guy?" I say and she just shakes her head "no no he's not really in the picture but screw him I don't need him to raise a kid!" I smile at how bubbly she still is. "So what are you doing in my apartment building!" I ask her and she just smiles "Well I actually wanted to give you this invite I'm having a party next week with a few old friends will you come?" she asks and I smile "Well I have to check with work but I don't have a problem with coming" I tell her and she jumps up and hugs me "Great here's the invite I'll see you then!" she hands me the invite and I just smile at it. This should be interesting._

_When I get inside the apartment both Kurt and Blaine are waiting for me on the couch when I shut the door they both jerk there heads away from the T.V and stare at me "Well?!" they both yell and I give them a what the fuck look. I take in a deep breath and hold up the album "I couldn't do it" I say and Kurt stands up and runs over to me grabbing my arms "San! Why? You were so ready to get her back what happened?" he asks and I can only think of one thing. Sam. "Sam" I reply shortly and he gives me a perplexed look "What about Sam, Santana?" he yells "He lives with her Kurt! They fucking live together! They're obviously in love! She wants nothing to do with me! I'm done Kurt! I can't do this anymore" I say and I can feel the tears form in my eyes as I try to blink them away, Kurt sighs and takes in a deep breath "I-I'm so sorry San" is all he can say and he engulfs me in a hug. I let myself fall into his arms and this becomes an all too familiar feeling and I decide to stop crying and pick myself up, I push myself away from Kurt and wipe the tears from my eyes "No I'm done feeling sorry for myself I'm going to live my life Kurt and if she wants me in her life she can find me herself I'm not going to sit here and wallow" I say and Kurt nods and a small smile spreads on his lips. "I'm proud of you San" is all he says and I nod, I walk away from him and Blaine and go straight to my room I take the album from my purse and put it in the box in the back of my closet to never see it again. In that moment I realize I will never stop loving Brittany she will always be a huge part of me I just have to learn to accept that things don't always work out. I walk out of my closet and sit on my freshly made bed I pull the invite from my purse and take a look at the front '7pm March 18__th__ please join me for a evening of fun' and I can't help but giggle at how Lea that sounds. I decide that going to this event will probably help take my mind off of Brittany so I take out my phone and R.S.V.P right away._

_About a week later I don't feel any better about all of the Brittany crap and I still haven't gotten a call from her since my failed visit last week, I really need to have some fun tonight at Lea's get together so I can at least take my mind off of it for awhile. Its 6:30 and I'm already ready to go I go to Kurt's room and knock to make sure he's ready, I somehow convinced him to come with me when he found out it was a Lea Michele party he was 'so down' as he likes to put it. "Hey Porcelain you ready?" I ask and he looks up from his Vanity mirror then to his watch "San its only 6:30 we have half an hour why so eager?" he asks eyeing my outfit "And why do you look so hot in that smoking red dress" he says and I can't help but giggle "Kurt I always gots to look good obvs" I say in my best ghetto voice I can muster up since I haven't used it since high school. Kurt just laughs and I guess its from my ghetto accent "Alright Satan how do I look now" he exclaims and I give him the old up and down, he's wearing a very classy black suit with a red tie to match my dress which I think is really cute topped off with alligator skin loafers and a classy broach clipped to his suit jacket. "Very classy lady very classy" I say and we both giggle as we hook our arms and walk out of the apartment. We walk there in record time as we arrive at 7:05 a little early for our liking but whatever, we knock on the door and were greeted by a shining Lea "San! I'm so glad you made it come in come in!" she gestures for us to come in. Her house is beautiful and I can't even explain what the décor looks like its so homey though and I love every inch of it. "Lea your house is gorgeous, you are gorgeous" I say a little more flirty than intended and Kurt nudges my arm to watch it, I give him a nod to tell him I get it and he just smirks. Lea is smiling now bigger than I remember seeing "Thanks San you and Kurt look cute matching like that!" she says and we all laugh, Lea gives us the tour and then sends us to the drink table which is desperately needed. Me and Kurt pour ourselves some beer and we get settled on the couch for a while until Lea comes back to grab me "San! I want you too see someone!" she says and I can't help but smile but I'm a little confused I know pretty much everyone here because of Lea and I's dating days "Uh sure but who?" I ask but she doesn't reply she just giggles and grabs my hand. She yanks me out into the garden and points "I just wanted you to meet an old flame of mine…" she says pointing to a blonde woman I squint my eyes a bit as I'm trying to see who that is when the blonde turns around I know exactly who that Blonde Beauty is. Dianna. Dianna turns around and her smile can literally light up a room I walk over to her when I notice Lea is no longer beside me that little hobbit set me up! Dianna walks up closer to me and I notice how close we are but I don't say anything I just stare into her perfect green eyes and I see everything I fell in love with all those years ago. "San" she says with a smile and I can't help but smile at how her hazel eyes light up when she says my name, "Dianna H-How are you?" I ask with a slight stutter and I realize how nervous I sound. She just laughs off my nerves and smiles "I'm fantastic and you?" she asks while gesturing me to take a seat next to her. We sit outside in the garden for about 2 hours until we decide to go for a walk in the park, the park is still light and the trail is lit up nicely "So San why didn't you ever call me back?" she asks with a laugh and I get nervous all of a sudden "I totally was going to! I just lost your number" I say and she just laughs "Oh you lost my number? Really?" she laughs and I just shrug "Yes really but can you really blame me? You did sleep with my roommate" I say with a laugh. She rolls her eyes "Ugh don't even bring that up! I think that was the biggest mistake of my life" I laugh at her but I can't help but smile "Well it is Puck-" I start but she cuts me off "Not because it was Puck it was the biggest mistake of my life because it made me lose you, I was so scared of the future and Puck was my way out you had so many big dreams and you were so determined it just scared me I guess" she explains and I can't help but smile at her honesty "Well I appreciate your honesty" I say and she gives me a toothy grin "Yeah-well I missed you San I still do" she says as she tucks a piece of hair behind my ear I smile at her as I realize everything I fell in love with is still there did I ever stop loving Dianna? I guess not because all these feelings are rushing back-_

"HOLD UP STOP THERE! I FUGURED IT OUT! I KNOW EXACTLY WHO MOMMY IS!" Anita exclaims and I knew she would figure it out "Oh really now are you a hundred percent sure?" I ask and she frantically nods, "When Dianna tucks a piece of hair behind your ear! she did it 4 times in the story! Mommy always does that when she tells me she loves me!" Anita says and I smile at how smart she is "Are you sure Dianna is your mom?" I ask again and she nods "Yes! Of course! Dianna is my mom!" she yells just as she says that a tall blonde woman comes walking towards us and Anita perks up "Mommy! Mommy!" she runs to the blonde woman and when she gets a little closer I say "Hey Quinn". Quinn comes to the bench with Anita's hand in hers while she's intently listening to her "Wow sweety! That's great! I'm so proud of you!" Quinn exclaims. "Hey Santana" she says and I give her a nod just then Anita tugs on Quinn's arm "Can Mommy come with us to the zoo!" Anita exclaims and Quinn smiles "If mommy wants to come" she says and looks to me "Uh sure lets go to the zoo!" I say taking Anita's hand in mine. It takes us 10 minutes to walk to the zoo Quinn and I are mostly quiet during the entire walk and the entire zoo until we get to the penguins. "Mommy's did you know that penguins mate for life? Even if there far apart even if it takes years they always find there way back to each other" she says and Quinn and I just nod "Well sometimes Mija they don't and they have to find a new partner to make up the time until they find there true love again" I say and Anita just smiles back because she knows exactly what I'm saying referring it to the story. When we get to the end of the zoo Quinn tugs on my arm "Anita sweety can you go sit on the bench while me and your mother talk" she asks and Anita nods and does what she's told. When Anita is out of earshot Quinn looks back to me "San did you get the papers I gave to Tina?" she asks and I grumble a little at the divorce papers sitting on my kitchen table "Yeah I did" I say shortly giving her an eye roll, Quinn just takes in a short breath "San you know its for the best" I give her another eye roll "Q you know damn well its not for the best! That little girl is heartbroken!" I explain and Quinn tenses up a bit "You don't think I know that San! But it may hurt her now but when she's older she'll realize it was for the best" I give her a tight-lipped grin as I try to see it from her point. "I agree it wasn't working for us but I would've tried harder for her" I say pointing to Anita who is watching us with intent eyes. "San it hasn't been working for awhile you know that I know that and Anita will realize it one day" she starts "I will always love you San don't ever forget that" she says and I give her a small smile, "I know and I'll always love you" I lean in to give her a kiss on the cheek and she blushes a bit I smile because I still have that affect on her. We pause for a second looking into each other's eyes and in that moment I realize she was right, everything I fell in love with had vanished it wasn't working because it had run its course. Of course there will always be apart of me that loves Quinn but she's right its over and it's been over for awhile. "Look I gotta go I'll see you next week" she says and I give her a nod, I walk over to Anita and say goodbye I can tell she's upset which makes my heart clench but there's nothing I can do. As I walk away I hear my name being called "Mommy!" Anita cries as she runs into my arms "what's the happy ending?" she asks and I notice the tears in her eyes, I smile because I've been dying to tell her what the happy ending is since she asked me to tell the story. "Mija its you, you're the happy ending" I say and her smile returns to her face I give her a tight hug "You're the happy ending because I went through all that and ended up with you that's the happiest ending anyone could ever ask for" and she breaks away from the hug and I give her a kiss on the forehead. "I love you mommy I'll see you Wednesday" she says "I love you too Mija" and with that she runs back to Quinn, Quinn gives me a slight wave and I give her one right back. I take the long way home to think some things through when I get back to the apartment I take a seat at my kitchen table and glare at the divorce forms. I sit there for what feels like forever until I pick up the folder and open it, I take my pen and I hesitantly sign my name on the dotted line. I place the paper back inside of the folder and a huge sigh of relief washes over me. I start to think of the story again and how talking about Brittany made me feel and how this feeling never really went away the story just brought it out. I jolt up and I realize I need to do something I run into my room and into the closet where I frantically look for the box, I find the box tucked away in the back and I search through it I finally find what I'm looking for and I grasp it with both hands and place it to my chest. I sit there for a couple minutes until I release it and put it on my lap… after all these years here it is the album I found over 9 years ago. I get up from my closet and into the kitchen again for the longest time I just stare at it but I realize what I need to do I grab my keys and bolt out the door.

Authors Note: Don't give up on Brittana! Trust me they are endgame! They always will be! I hope you enjoyed this chapter please read and review this is probably the best chapter I've written so far so I really hope you love it as much as I do! Okay thanks! And please read and review!


	7. Chapter 7

Authors Note: Hey! Guys okay this chapter will definitely put a smile on your faces! I hope. This is probably the last chapter than the epilogue but don't be mad this was just a trial story to see if you guys like my writing I've already started working on another story and I hope you guys stay tuned and read that one too. It will definitely be much longer I'm thinking about 30 chapters with a great storyline but without further delay I present the last chapter of _Take me back to the start_ enjoy! Please Read and Review!

Chapter 7-_ Hope_

I run out into the crisp afternoon sun and my brain is already frazzled, I have the Fleetwood Mac album under my arm and at this point I'm screaming for a taxi. When I finally hail one I jump into the back "Jones Records NOW!" I scream a little too loud for my liking and the taxi driver just floors it. I'm sitting in complete silence for about 10 minutes going over every feeling I've ever felt with Brittany, every argument every conversation and constant yearning for her touch whenever we hugged. I'm racking my brain, how did I not see this before? Brittany did love me and I loved Brittany but I was too stupid and blinded by my own pain to see what she was trying to tell me. Suddenly a realization hits me what if she hates me? What if she throws me out of the studio? I'm such a bundle of nerves and I can't even cope with them. When the taxi driver turns the corner I see the very top of Jones records and my palms get sweaty immediately, just thinking about Brittany and talking to her makes me nervous its unbelievable the way she affects me even to this day. Were stopped at a red light and the taxi driver turns up the music it takes me awhile to recognize what song it is but I quickly know, _The Scientist _this song in this moment is a little creepy. I listen intently to the lyrics while the taxi is still stopped…

_Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry_

_You don't know how lovely you are_

_I had to find you, tell you I need you_

_Tell you I'll set you apart_

I swallow hard at the lyrics and I can't help but get more nervous as we pull up to Jones Records. I throw the money at the taxi driver and as I jump out I hear the last note in the song…

_I'm going back to the start._

I reach the front door of the building and enter the lobby taking in all the memories of this place. Seriously nothing has changed the lobby still has its black leather sofa's and the directory is still located by the elevator but I don't need it I know exactly where I'm going. I run literally run towards the dance studio and it takes me about 5 minutes to do so, I get to the door that reads 'Dance department' and I can't help but have a million memories flash in my mind. This studio is where I met Britt for the first time, where I met my best friend, where I had all these unexplained feelings, which now have been thoroughly explained by my 9-year-old daughter. I've been in love with Brittany for 9 years and I hope that by some string of luck that she still loves me. I turn the knob and I'm greeted by pure silence I step inside the studio and I notice its deserted with a huge sigh I realize I must've missed her, I press my forehead to the door and just sit there. About 5 minutes later I hear chairs moving inside the office I jolt up as the office door flies open and Britt steps out talking to what looks like one of her dancers, a huge grin takes over my face as I notice how she hasn't changed a bit her blue eyes still sparkle more than ever, her perfect blonde hair still flows nicely over her shoulders and she looks like she hasn't aged at all. She's wearing her dance sweats and a loose top I can't help but think how beautiful she is right now but I would think she's beautiful no matter what she wore or what she looks like for that matter she's just a beautiful person. It takes her a couple minutes to notice someone's here she looks up for a quick second but looks back to her dancer but suddenly she freezes mid-sentence and I know she knows its me. She looks back to me instantly making eye contact and my knees grow weak she sends me a smirk as she pops her hip out and places her hand over it, I can't help but laugh. She waves away her dancer and walks towards me "H-Hey" I say realizing I'm stuttering and I instantly kick myself, "Hi" she says and the grin on her face is now bigger than ever. "San I-I missed you so much" I can't hold back anymore and I engulf her in a hug, we hug for 10 minutes until she breaks it too look into my eyes god I missed those eyes. "I missed you too Britt" I say and I can feel a tear escape my eye, she smiles and I can tell she's trying to fight back tears. "I-I can't even speak right now, I'm so shocked what have you been up to" she says and I smile at her interest in my life. "Well it's a long story" I explain, "I've got time" she gestures to her office and we walk there in silence. I take a seat across from her and she takes a seat at her desk "Okay shoot San I wanna know everything!" she says with so much excitement, I look at her and it doesn't hit me until now that when I look into her eyes I still see everything I fell in love with the unique and special love that still remains. This feeling isn't the feeling I had with Quinn this morning its different its true love, she gives me a perplexed look when I realize I've been staring to long. Shit. "Oh yeah well truth be told I'm getting a divorce" I say and I don't know why that's the first thing I bring up I just need to know if she's single. Her face drops at my news but its quick to lighten up again as she laughs "Oh god San I'm not surprised" she says and I can't help but laugh along in all honesty I'm not surprised I'm getting divorced either "What about you?" I ask a little more nervous than I was before I came in here, she just smiles and shakes her head "I'm single" she says shortly and a wave of relief washes over me "Oh really? What happened to Sam?" I ask with a wink and she just rolls her eyes "Oh god please that was over years ago" I can't help but smile at this news I knew he was a tool. For the longest time Britt and I just smile at each other taking in everything but I decide to cut the silence short because there is a reason why I'm here "Britt there's a reason why I came here" I start and she nods her head telling me to continue "I wanted to give you something" I reach down and grab the nicely wrapped album and give it to her. Her face is a little confused "Oh San you didn't have to-" she starts but I cut her off "Just open it please?" I beg and she nods. She takes the nicely wrapped item and slowly unwraps it when she's about half way done with the paper her eyes go wide, she rips the rest off in a flash and her smile grows even bigger but I can see the tears rolling down her cheeks "How did you-" she starts "How? Where?" I smile at her and I realize this is the hard part. I've kept the album for almost 9 years how am I supposed to explain that? That just sounds selfish. Fuck. "I found it while I was walking past a record store" I start but I have to pause as I force out the truth "9 years ago" I say and her face literally drops. The tears are rolling down her cheeks now and I can tell that hearing that must've hurt a ton so I jump to explain "I-I tried giving it back to you I just I don't know I couldn't" I explain and she cuts me off with her hand "Stop talking" she says shortly and my heart sinks with a feeling that's all to familiar. "How could you keep this from me for 9 years?" she asks and I just shake my head cause I don't know why, well I do I just I can't tell her not now, not while she's in so much pain. She just shakes her head and cries more "I think you should go San" my heart feels like its going to give out on me. I stand up and slowly walk up to the door with this all to familiar feeling "I'm sorry Britt" I say but she doesn't say anything she just rolls her chair around to face the wall while staring at the album. With that I walk out of her office and out of the dance department. I slowly walk through the lobby and my knees can't take it anymore so I sit down on the black sofa with head in my hands, I don't know why I thought I could come here and just think everything will be fixed with the album especially since I've withheld the album from her for 9 years I think I would hate me too. I sit here for what feels like hours until I find my strength to go home, I walk out of the building and straight for my house. When I get home I decide I need sleep desperately I don't know why I'm so upset its not like I had Britt in the first place but I sure did push her away further than ever before. I sit in my bed staring at the ceiling until I decide to make a phone call, I dial 3 my speed dial and it rings twice before someone answers "San?" the voice on the other line says and I'm so happy to hear it "Kurt?" I ask and I hear a small laugh "San it's like 2am what's wrong? Not that I don't love hearing from you but still?" he asks and I let out a heavy sigh. "Kurt I messed up again, with Britt I-I finally gave her back the album after 9 years" I explain and I can hear Kurt's gasp "San what possessed you to give it to her now after all these years?" I laugh and shake my head, I think about the story I mean that's what pushed out these feelings and made me realize finally that Britt is my true love. "I don't know Kurt I just I don't know I had to give it back because I realized that-that I still love her" I say with a slight voice crack and I hear Kurt sigh "I knew you were never over her" he says and I love how Kurt can easily read me. "But San what did she say when you gave her the album" he asks and I take in a sharp breath "she asked me how and I told her I found it while walking past the record store then I told her I found it 9 years ago and she said it was best if I leave" I repeat her words with a heavy heart. I can hear Kurt muffle with something but I can't make out what it is "San hun I'm so sorry, but if I were you I'd just give her some space I mean its a lot to take in with you coming back, the album and the giant bomb you just dropped on her" he explains and I realize he's right "Your right Kurt I'll just give it some time" I say and I can hear Kurt's smile from here "Good I'm glad you realized you still love her though I thought you never would!" he yells and I can't help but laugh "I know I know truth be told it was Anita that made me realize" I can hear Kurt's laugh and I realize how much I miss him "Wow she is a smart one! How is my cuddle bug?" he asks and I smile. Kurt and Blaine moved away 6 years ago to L.A. when Kurt got offered a major editing job for Vogue "She's great Kurt but you haven't seen her in 6 years she's grown so much you need to come visit!" I yell and we both laugh "I know I'm actually coming to visit next month so I'll see her then" I smile because that's honestly the best thing I've heard all day. "Kurt! That's great! I miss you so much Porcelain" I say and I hear Kurt take in a sigh "I miss you too Satan so much, but listen I got to go I'll call you later okay?" he says and a pang of sadness hits me "Okay sounds good bye Kurt!" and with that we hang up. I cuddle back into my bed to get more comfortable and I replay the advice Kurt gave me _just give her time_, when I think about it for awhile I realize how much I can't do that I need her too know and soon for that matter I've waited 9 years to do this and I'm not waiting a year longer.

The next morning I wake up to the sun piercing my eyes I can't help but let out a slight grunt before I stand up. I pick up my phone that is lying on the pillow next to me to check the time 2:15 it reads and I start to freak out. How did I sleep for that long! I quickly rush to get changed into my jeans and sweater, by the time I'm fully dressed with makeup on its 2:20 and Anita gets off of school in 10 minutes. I sprint out the door with a piece of toast in my mouth and run to the school constantly checking my watch, I get to the school just as the bell rings and a huge sigh of relief takes over. I'm breathing pretty heavily right now and I realize its time I start working out again sure I have a nice body but I seriously need to get back into shape. I'm sitting on the railing when Finn comes out of the school holding his son Noah's hand "Hey San!" he exclaims and I can't help but smile at how domesticated he looks, he's wearing a buttoned shirt, a tie and glasses. I laugh because the Finn 9 years ago would've laughed at the Finn now "Hey Finn" I say and he comes up to me "How've ya been?" he asks "Good, good I just signed the divorce papers" I tell him and he frowns a bit but he quickly replaces is with his 'Finn Grin' "That sucks San but I bet it makes you wish you married my Rachel" I can't help but laugh. After I proposed to Quinn the second time and she said yes I introduce Finn to Rachel, Rachel and I dated for 6 months after Quinn and I broke up the first time and it was a great time I was even going to propose until the little song mishap but the past is the past. "Yeah Finn totally" I say with an extreme amount of sarcasm, we laugh a bit and talk until Finn gets a phone call and has to leave I wave goodbye to Finn and Noah and wait for Anita to come out. It takes about 5 minutes until I see her blonde locks waving in the wind and a smile tugs at my lips "Hey Mija how was school?" I ask and she smiles "Great mommy but we have bigger things to talk about!" she yells and I get a bit confused. She tugs my hand and we decide on walking home "What did you want to talk about?" I ask her and she smiles "Well first things first, after you told the story you never told me who Lea and Brittany really are" she says and I understand where she's coming from. I think for a moment as we pass a big Broadway billboard with the words Rachel Berry plastered across it "Okay hun remember how I told you that Lea was on Broadway?" she just nods and furrows her eyebrows "Well look up" I tell her and she jolts up, her eyes widen as realization hits her and she sees the giant poster and she shrieks "You dated Rachel Berry mommy!" and I can't help but laugh and nod. Anita's face is literally priceless "wait! You dated Uncle Finn's wife? That's weird!" she exclaims and I laugh even harder "She wasn't his wife back then Mija it wasn't weird" I tell her and she nods in understanding. We walk back to the building in complete silence while I assume Anita takes in the new information I gave her, when we get inside Anita runs to the kitchen table and gestures for me to sit down I give her a confused look but I do it anyway. "Yes?" I question her and she just smiles "Okay mommy we know that in the story Dianna is Mommy 'aka' Quinn and Lea is Rachel Berry Uncle Finn's wife and Broadway star but" she says and my confusion just grows "Who's Brittany?" she asks and I suddenly realize Brittany is the only person in the story who's name didn't get switched. "Um Brittany is Brittany Mija, I didn't change her name" I tell her and she just nods "But you changed everyone's name except for hers why?" I think about her question for a couple minutes, why didn't I change her name? Well probably because she's perfect the way she is and I just wanted to say her name again after 9 years of not uttering it. "I don't know Mija I just like saying her name I guess" I tell her but Anita can see something I don't "Mommy you didn't change it because there's nothing you want to change about her you love her mommy" she says and I can't believe how smart she is. My daughter just read me like an open book she knows I love Brittany but she's not upset that I don't love Quinn anymore? "Anita I do love Brittany I always have but I loved your mother too" I tell her and she just nods "I know mommy! You can love 2 people at the same time! My teacher told me that today when I explained your story!" she says and I'm shocked at how incredibly in depth she's going with the story "but she also said that you will always love one of them more" she continues and I nod. We sit there for a while in silence and Anita has her thinking face on "I know you love Brittany more mommy and its okay, she sounds awesome I wouldn't mind her being one of my mommy's" she says and I can't help but smile. I decide I should tell Anita what I went to do yesterday "Hun I have to tell you something" I say and she nods, I tell her everything Brittany, Kurt the album everything and her face is in complete shock. "Mommy! You had the album this entire time! Its been 9 years!" she yells and I nod "I know Anita!" she just rolls her eyes, "Well you're not listening to Uncle Kurty right?" she asks and I jerk my head to her "Uh I don't know Mija he has a point" but she just shakes her head "No mommy! C'mon! Were going to get Britt-Britt back!" she exclaims and I quickly shake my head "No, no, no!" I yell but she just tugs on my arm "Mommy if we don't go get Brittany I won't eat for a week!" I narrow my eyes to challenge her but she's done this before so I quickly nod. "Fine but Anita if this doesn't work I-I don't know what will happen" I tell her but she just shakes her head "It will work! Have hope mommy!" she tells me and I feel the smile forming on my lips. I nod as she drags me out onto the streets we hail a taxi and I tell the driver the address, for the first time in 9 years I finally feel something that might actually work. Hope.

Were driving for what feels like forever until we come to the Brooklyn Bridge, Anita and I have been really quiet but I guess that's because were both in really deep thought. What am I going to say to Britt? How am I going to do this? I sit in the back of the taxi with my head in my hands until Anita speaks up "do you know that each year 35 people attempt to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge and a majority of them are from broken hearts" she says while pointing at me and I just roll my eyes "Thanks Mija I'll keep that in mind" I tell her and she just laughs. It takes another 20 minutes until we get to Britt's apartment and the nerves are back again. We step out of the taxi as I throw the money at him I'm very hesitant right now and I can feel my hands shaking until Anita grabs one and I suddenly feel a little bit better. She smiles at me as to encourage me to press the buzzer, I take my shaky finger and I press it suddenly Britt's voice comes on the speaker "Who is it?" she asks and my throat closes up on me "B-Britt I-It's San" I tell her but she doesn't say anything back. "San what do you want?" she snaps and I feel my heart drops a little "I need to explain to you why I kept the album for so long, actually I need to explain a lot more than that" I tell her and I can feel the tears starting to form. "can you please let me in" I ask her but I get nothing but silence I figure she's contemplating it suddenly Anita speaks up "Mom just tell her how you feel!" she yells and I shush her because Britt can hear us "Who is that?" Britt's voice comes back and I swallow the lump that's formed in my throat "I-It's my daughter Britt" I get even more nervous for some reason and my breathing becomes ragged. "You brought your daughter San? You think that's gonna make me buzz you in?" she asks and I frantically shake my head "No, No! of course not Britt I just I need to talk-" I start but Anita cuts me off "Tell her the story! She'll understand the story!" she yells and I just roll my eyes. About 5 minutes goes by and still no response from Britt, I can feel the hope I've recently grasped starting to slip I know she's not responding but I know she's still listening. "She's not coming Anita, lets go" I give up and Anita frantically shakes her head "No mommy! She's coming I know she is!" she yells and I roll my eyes again. "Anita I'll give it 30 seconds and if she doesn't come were leaving" I explain and Anita nods "1, 2, 3, 4, 5…" I say and Anita becomes fidgety "10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15…" she says and I can tell she's getting worried and in unison we count again "20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25…" I can feel my heart sinking lower and lower "26, 27, 28, 29…" I say and Anita picks it up "29 and a quarter" she says "29 and a half" I say and Anita becomes extremely worried "29 and 3 quarters" and I feel my heart give way as I feel the tears come down. "what comes after that?" she asks and I just shake my head "Home" I reply and we walk away from the apartment "Mom that wasn't supposed to happen! She was supposed to come down! And jump into your arms and-" Anita says but is cut off by a loud "Hey!" we turn around and I swear Anita's smile is huge. Brittany is running towards us "What story?" she asks and Anita perks up "You and mommy's love story!" Anita cries and a slight blush creeps up on my face. I look at Brittany who's smiling even bigger now "Oh really a love story?" Britt counters and Anita frantically nods but I cut in because I can't handle this anymore "Britt" I start walking up to her and looking into her perfect blue eyes "I-I can't tell you how sorry I am for keeping that album for this long but to be completely honest I kept it because it-it's the only thing I had left of you" I tell her and a grin shows up on her lips. I grab her hands in mine "Britt I-I never stopped loving you, I would've never have realized that if it wasn't for Anita" I say pointing to the smaller blonde "She made me tell the story about how I met the love of my life and that's you Britt I'm so in love with you even after 9 years when I look into your eyes I see everything I fell in love with and I can't go another day without you in my life" I explain Britt jumps to say something but I stop her. "Britt I don't want Quinn or Rachel I just want you, I should've told you that 9 years ago but I was so scared you didn't love me back but I know you do I know you still do because you wouldn't be down here if you didn't" the smile across her lips is bigger than ever if that's even possible. "San, You were-are the love of my life I've been in love with you since the day you walked into the Dance department all those years ago… San I love you back" she says and I'm literally on cloud nine, I look into her deep blue eyes and she looks into my Brown my face hurts so much from smiling but I just can't stop "I love you more than I've ever loved anyone in this world" she whispers and a huge relief washes over my body. A sudden shriek of joy breaks our eye contact and Anita is jumping up and down "I was right mommy! I told you she would come! I told you everything that just happened!" she screams and I smile, Brittany lets go of my hands and walks over to Anita "Did you now? So what happens next?" she asks and Anita just smiles "Well this is the part where you invite us in and we tell you the story" Britt just smiles and nods "Then what are we waiting for?" Britt exclaims while grabbing Anita's hand. The two blondes walk hand in hand in front of me while I trail behind a little, they step inside the apartment and I just stand outside in the night air for a second taking in everything that just happened. Britt loves me! That is seriously the best feeling in the world suddenly I'm broken out of my thoughts by a beautiful blonde charging for me, she jumps on me and hooks her legs around me waist and plants the most amazing kiss on my lips I've ever had. She kisses me with so much passion as she interlaces her hands behind my neck I suddenly think how did I go all these years without her kisses? Our kiss becomes more passionate as she swipes her tongue across my bottom lip and I allow her access. We break from the kiss and I instantly miss her "C'mon you got a story to tell me" she says while tugging my hand and brining me inside. For the first time in almost 13 years I feel like the happiest woman in the world and there's only one reason for that I'm absolutely and irrevocably in love with Brittany and she loves me and that sounds pretty damn good to me.

The End.

Authors Note: All right guys that's the ending! I hope you liked it as much as I enjoyed writing it! But don't fret I have another story coming out tomorrow and I think you'll enjoy that one just as much that story is going to have a huge story line and it's definitely Brittana just FYI also it will be my first 30 chapter Fic and I hope you love it! But stay tuned into this story for the epilogue! Also read and review! Give me your opinion on the ending please! And stay tuned for my next fic tomorrow! Thank you!


	8. Chapter 8

Authors Note: Alright guys here's the Epilogue! Major Brittana fluff just fyi also I'm posting the first chapter in my first 30+ chapter fic it's going to be called _I'm in love with the enemy _its Superwoman!Santana and Brittana fic I've wanted to right a super hero fic for sooo long and I'm finally doing it I have the entire storyline played out some aspects of the superwoman aren't exactly the same I decided to make it more original and don't worry I know the title says in love with the Enemy but that changes I promise it's worth the read. But without further delay the final part to _Take me back to the start _Enjoy!

**Anon: **Anita doesn't recognize Britt because they never met before that night Santana went to tell Brittany how she really felt at the end. Remember it's been 9 years since they've seen each other. 9 years ago Quinn and Santana got married but 9 years later with the help of Anita Santana realizes she still loves Brittany. Also I didn't switch her name because there's nothing about Brittany Santana wants to change because she's perfect (Corny I know) but also since Anita never met Brittany before she told the story there wasn't a point in changing her name I hop this answers your question thanks!

Chapter 8- _Epilogue: Eternal Happiness_

Present Time- July 2017, New York

The light coming from the crack in the blinds is shining through and it immediately wakes me. I let out a small grunt because I hate the sun and early mornings but my anger soon dissipates when I see blonde hair sprawled across the pillow next to mine. I turn my body and wrap my arms around my sleeping beauty and cuddle into her perfectly toned body. A slight humming noise comes from her and I can see the smile on her face, she slowly opens her eyes and covers my arm with hers. We lie there for 20 minutes in complete silence not even bothering to ruin the moment but I quickly change that because I want to see her turn over so I can look at her perfect blue eyes. "Hey Britt-Britt" I whisper and I can hear her giggle, she turns her body in my arms and faces me while keeping my arms firmly wrapped around her hips "Hey Sanny" she says and kisses the top of my nose. I look into her perfect blue eyes and you think by now I would have memorized every inch of her face but every time I look at her I can't help but think she gets more beautiful every time. Were just sitting there looking into each others eyes and smiling like goofs but its one of the most intimate things we love to do with each other something Quinn and I never did we just enjoy each other, no words no talking just silence and looking into each others eyes. Its been 6 months since Britt and I got together and it's been the happiest time of my life waking up to her beauty every morning is the best part of my day. She makes my life so much easier and Anita has really warmed up to her already starting to call her mommy Britt which is adorable, 3 months ago I asked Britt to move in with me because seriously I couldn't stand being away from her at night our love was growing so fast that it just felt normal to live together. Living with Brittany is amazing when she moved into my apartment it became so much cleaner I hate cleaning and she loves to do it so I let her, we have different schedules at work too so it makes sense to do so. I've been working for 'Pimpin Records' for almost 10 years and Brittany has been working for 'Jones records' for the same amount of time but each time we bring up work we always try to convince the other to come work for the same company but we never do. I would totally move back to 'Jones Records' but I can't I'm currently CEO and head producer at 'Pimpin Records' and I can't just leave but Britt always tries and I think it's the cutest thing. Britt is head choreographer too so it doesn't make sense for her to move and it's not like I would let her in the first place. I'm quickly broken out of my thoughts by a hand on my cheek and I can't help but smile "Penny for your thoughts?" she asks and I smile more "You don't need a penny to know what I'm thinking of" I counter and she grins "I'm thinking of you all day everyday" I kiss her forehead and she cuddles into my chest "Me too Sanny" she says and my smile grows even bigger. We sit there for 2 hours just enjoying each others company its our first day off together in weeks and I just want to enjoy my perfect girlfriend until we realize the time and we jolt up because we need to get Anita from school. Time flies when you're with people you love really it does every hour feels like a minute and you can't help but frown. We get up from our positions slowly and quickly get dressed I put on my typical jeans and sweater and so does Britt in the matter of minutes were out the door with toast in our mouths and keys in our pockets. We walk hand in hand to Anita's school and I can't help but smile while holding hands with her she's absolutely perfect I can't believe she chose me, I'm so in love with her that you could probably tell from space. It takes us 10 minutes to get to Anita's school so we sit on the stairs and wait for the bell to ring "So" she starts and I look to my beautiful blonde "do you want kids?" she asks and I can't help but laugh "Britt I already have one" I tell her and she just giggles and shakes her head "No I mean- with me?" I jerk my head to her and raise my eyebrows there's only one answer to this question "Absolutely" I tell her and the grin on her face grows 10 sizes. I can't help but smile too I would love to have kids with Brittany one day, I love her and having a product of our love would be absolutely perfect. Brittany giggles and lays her head on my shoulder while we sit "I love you, so much" she whispers and I lift her head to look into her eyes "I love you too Britt" with that I plant a chaste kiss to her lips and I can't help but smile in the middle of it, we break quickly when we hear the bell ring not wanting to give little children a show. We quickly stand up and wait for Anita to come out, while waiting an amazing idea comes to me "Hey Britt why don't I take you out tonight you know on a date? We haven't had one in a really long time" I tell her and she jumps "Yes! Absolutely yes!" a smile takes over my lips and I plant a kiss to her cheek. "Wait what about Anita?" she asks and I already got this one covered "Don't worry I'll call Kurt" I tell her and she gets happy again. Kurt's been in town for 2 months now because of some editing shoot for Vogue I'm sure he won't mind watching Anita for a couple hours especially for a special occasion like tonight. I make a mental note to call Kurt when we get home as Anita comes running out and jumps into Brittany's arms "Britty!" she yells and Brittany twirls her around "Hey cuddlebug how was school?" Brittany asks and Anita just laughs "Great! Today we told stories about our family I got a lot of laughs when I told the class I have 3 mommy's" she says and Britt and I break out into laughter "That's great Mija" I tell her and she jumps down from Britt to hug me and of course I engulf her tiny body "Thanks mommy! Can we go now? I don't like being at school for a super long time" she asks and I can't help but laugh. Anita takes mine and Brittany's hands and I can't help but notice the smile on Brittany's lips since Anita told her she has 3 mommy's I find it adorable how good all three of us look together like a real family, well we are a real family. We walk home in silence and Anita quickly runs up to the apartment door "Hurry mommy!" she says and I give her a puzzled look "why so eager Mija?" I ask her she just shakes her head. I open the door and she bolts inside runs to her room and shuts the door, Britt and I share a confused look but just shrug it off it is Anita after all. Britt offers to make Anita her dinner and I let her because I need to call Kurt, I take my phone out of my purse and quickly speed dial 3 it rings twice before Porcelain decides to pick up "What do I owe this pleasure Satan?" he asks and I just sarcastically laugh "Haha very funny Porcelain I need a favor from you" I tell him "Okay what?" I wait a couple seconds before I decide to tell him my plan "I'm taking Britt out tonight for a special evening could you come over and watch Anita for me?" I ask praying he'll say yes and by the sudden shriek on the other side I think it is "Of course! I miss my little cuddlebug!" he cries and I just laugh, "Thanks so much Kurt! I owe you one" I tell him "oh you owe me plenty there Satan" we both share a laugh and I can't help but feel excited about my evening. "Wait why is this evening so special?" he asks and a huge smile consumes my face "I'm doing it Kurt" I tell him and he shrieks even louder than before "No way! SAN YOUR GONNA DO IT!?" I just laugh and shake my head "Yes Kurt I am! I'm going to purpose to Britt tonight" I tell him and he just laughs I turn my head around quickly to make sure Brittany isn't anywhere near me and she's not thank God "It was kind of a last minute dinner but I can't keep this ring anymore I need to do it tonight" I tell him and he takes in a sigh "San I'm so happy for you! Seriously it's about time! She's been the love of your life for almost 10 years I wouldn't waste anymore time if I was you" he says and I take in his words "Well that's why I'm doing it tonight" we both laugh and can't help but hear a laugh from behind me I immediately tense up afraid Brittany heard me but I'm relieved when I see it's Anita. "Listen Kurt I gotta run be here by 8 tonight alright?" I tell him "Okay I'll see you later San bye!" and with that we hang up. I crouch down to Anita's eye level and narrow my eyes "How much did you hear?" I ask her and she just laughs "Enough" she replies shortly and I just shake my head "What's enough Anita?" I say with a slight edge and Anita just smirks "Enough to know that by the end of tonight Britt will officially be one of my mommy's" she says and I give her an eye roll "Anita Maria Fabray-Lopez if you tell Brittany there will be consequences" I tell her with a stern voice but she just shrugs and places her hand on my shoulder "Mommy I found the ring in your purse last week if I didn't tell her then I won't tell her now" she says and my eyes widen in shock "Anita why di-" I start but she cuts me off with a finger on my lips "Shh mommy just trust me I won't tell Britty" she says and scampers out of the room. I can't help but think how the fuck did she get so smart and cunning? Then I realize she is my daughter.

I'm sitting on the couch waiting for Britt to come out of our room but also for Kurt who is 10 minutes late, I'm sitting in my red strapless dress and my heels are sitting on the floor next to my feet, my hair is down and hanging over my right shoulder and my makeup is perfect I needed it to be absolutely perfect. I'm sitting for what feels like forever while watching Anita play with the keyboard I got her for Christmas she's actually really good and I need to make a mental note to sign her up for piano. I let out a huge sigh but suddenly the doorbell rings and I immediately jolt up and sprint for the door, I open the door to a smiling Kurt and roll my eyes "You're late Kurt" I tell him he just shrugs "Well I wanted to get a few things for my cuddlebug" he explains I'm about to tell him off when Anita comes running in "Uncle Kurty!" she yells and jumps into Kurt's ready arms "CUDDLEBUG I missed you!" he kisses the top of her head and she giggles "Uncle Kurty what did you bring?" she asks and Kurt wiggles his eyebrows "Ah now that's a surprise" he sets her on the floor and she scampers away giggling and smiling. Kurt turns to me and his playful grin turns into a smirk "So are you nervous?" he asks and I just shrug "I don't know I love her so much I just really want her to be mine already" I explain and he just nods "Well you have done this like 4 times in the past" he laughs and I slap his shoulder "Shut up!" I yell and he just laughs harder "Well it's true!" he says and I give him my classic eye roll. I'm about to tell him off again when Brittany comes into view and we immediately shut it "Kurt! Thanks so much for watching Anita! You're seriously the best" she explains and I roll my eyes for the 5th time since he's been here "Oh Britt hun don't mention it I love hanging out with Anita she's a little gossip and I loves ma gossip" he says imitating my ghetto accent. He sends me a smirk and I give him a narrow look I really have rubbed off on him a lot "Well I guess we should get going" I tell Britt and she nods "Have fun you guys! Stay out as long as you want!" he exclaims. I offer Britt my hand to take and she takes it stepping a little further in front of me, I look back to wave at Kurt and he mouths a 'good luck' and I just nod. When we get outside I notice Britt's outfit and my jaw drops I was so pre occupied with Kurt that I didn't notice how incredibly beautiful she looks but she always looks gorgeous. "Britt you look-you look… incredible" I try to explain and she just blushes, she's wearing a blue off the shoulder dress that really makes her eyes pop which she knows I love. Her heels match perfectly and I can't help but think how perfect she is "Thanks babe you look so sexy" she says and now its my turn to blush, I grab her hand and I tug her towards the park. I turn to my right and I take in the confused look on Brittany's face but when we reach the picnic table realization hits her "San this-this is the place I took you on our first date" she says and I give her a nod and point to the beautifully laid out picnic table on the hill she gasps at the beauty and I grin at her amazement. I chose this place for a reason yes it was the place we went on our first date even though at the time I never realized it was a date but the past is the past but also that night we had our first kiss and it's just a special place for me. I used to come here all the time after me and Britt stopped talking it was like a place I went to, to remember the memories I had with Britt like she never walked out of my life I even took Anita here a couple times but right now Brittany is in my life and I'm never letting her go again. I gesture for her to sit down and we do, I take the wine out and pour each of us a glass. We sit across from each other and smile at each other until I can no longer feel my face "San this is perfect you're perfect" she says and I grab her hand across the table "No Britt you're perfect" she blushes even harder. I take out the food and we eat, after were done eating we talk for hour's straight reminiscing in the memories we've shared over the years and it's seriously the most intimate and best date I've ever been on. Around 11pm there's no one left in the park and the lamp light in the middle of the park shines perfectly on our table and really makes Brittany look like a goddess. I reach under the table and grab the IPod dock and IPod I set it up and put 'Songbird' on which I consider to be our song "May I have this dance" I ask her while holding my hand out and she frantically nods and takes my hand. I place my hands on her waist and she interlaces her hands behind my neck "San nothing could make this more perfect than this right now I love you so much everything you did tonight was perfect" she says while pressing our foreheads together. "Well the night isn't over yet" I tell her, I remember the last time we were here I practiced my proposal to Quinn on her and I can't help but smile at how twisted fate is bringing us here for me to actually propose to her this time, only to her and I know in this moment it will be the last proposal I ever give. I stop rocking us back and forth and grab her hands in mine "You know" I start and she nods "The last time we were here I practiced my proposal to Quinn on you" I say and she just laughs "I remember how bummed I was to hear you were proposing" she says and I laugh "Yeah I know" she just shakes her head. "But tonight in this moment none of that matters" I say and I slowly get on one knee while still holding her hand her free hand is now over her mouth "San-" she starts but I cut her off "Britt I love you, you know that I wake up every day to that beautiful smile and eyes everything about us is perfectly imperfect but I don't care, it took me 9 years and a divorce later to realize how hopelessly in love with you I am and I can't spend another day without you being mine for good" I start. Britt's eyes are watering and tears are starting to flow with a big grin on her face "Britt I'm done waiting I love you more than I've ever loved anyone in this world and it took me awhile but I found the love of my life and that's you, Brittany S. Peirce will you Marry me and let me show you everyday what you truly mean to me" I say and the nerves in my stomach start to ease a bit because her smile is even bigger now "Abso-Freaking-lutley" she says and jumps into my arms I take the ring out of my bra strap and this causes us both to laugh. With happy tears in our eyes I slip the 20kt gold diamond ring onto her ring finger and she gasps at the beauty "Its perfect San, Your perfect I love you so much" she says and I smile I cup her cheeks and place a passionate kiss to her lips. We kiss for what feels like hours until we need to breath she presses our foreheads together and right now the smiles on our lips are one of a kind I found the one after 9 years, 3 girlfriends, 3 rings, 1 marriage and one divorce later, I'm finally so happy nothing could ruin this moment, nothing could ruin the rest of our lives together because I love Brittany and Brittany loves me.

The End.

Authors Note: AWW! So much Brittana fluff I love it I hope you enjoyed this story! I know I did! Stay tuned for my Superwoman!Santana, Brittana Fic it will seriously be some great stuff! I love you my faithful followers! Thanks for reading!


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